Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Diet

Ladies and Gents, it's week 9 and things are NOT going well.  At this point I should have lost 15 lbs.  I have lost 6.  I feel better, yes, and I can tell that I look better but I really need to look a lot better than I do.

I know I've had a very stressful couple of weeks.  I went on vacation for the weekend and then promptly had to come home and weigh in but the sad truth is that I'm failing the test here.  Again.  For what seems like the millionth time.  Clearly my commitment to this is lacking.

Do I have time in the day to focus on this?  Yes, I do.  But I don't use that time to exercise.  I think about exercising but I'm tired and I don't feel like it and it's hard and I'd really like some cheese with my whine.

And then there's the time of day when the kids are in bed and I'm ready to chill out on the couch.  My brain immediately tells me "you need a snack.  In fact, you need LOTS of snacks."  I handle the problem much better on some days than on others but I bet I'd be more successful at all of this if I could just flipping STOP eating at night after dinner.

It's becoming more and more clear to me that this is going to take more "me" time than I hoped.  I am going to have to set aside the time to be good to me by torturing myself at the gym - at least metaphorically because I can't afford a gym membership.  So, my gym is going to have to be my living room and, well, blerg is all I have to say about that.  The gravity well that resides on my couch is ever so comfy.

I only have 3.5 weeks left on the 12 week online program I paid for through Weight Watchers.  If I don't make better progress here I don't know what I'm going to do at the end of that period.  Meetings are a pain in the ass and not scheduled at times that are convenient to me so I'm tempted to stick with the online program.  But, well, see all of my complaining above.

I guess I'm just feeling frustrated and stupid and lazy and every other bad adjective in the book.  Sigh.  I work hard at a lot of things in my life.  Why does this have to be so hard, too?

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