Well, that pretty much sums it up.
I'm almost two weeks into the dietary changes and I've lost nothing. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nadarino. In fact, I may have actually put on a pound.
Now, I could give you a whole list of reasons why this is the case - and they'd be good reasons. It's not like I'd be saying things like "Oh, I just didn't get around to it." But it ultimately comes down to the fact that I just didn't make great choices and there were more days than one in which I said "screw it." I allowed myself to screw up and then I allowed myself to keep screwing up because I figured once a single bad choice was made the whole day was a waste. That quickly adds up to derailing yourself.
I'm pretty disgusted with myself. Not just because I'm fat and that alone disgusts me but also because I should be strong enough to do this. I should be able to have the discipline and I clearly do not. What the hell is wrong with me?
Yes, I have a food diary. I've been journaling my food every day for a couple of weeks. I missed a few days for those good reasons I mentioned but I'm still continuing to make the effort.
I'm frustrated. I'm angry with myself. I feel like a failure every single day because of this. I cannot seem to make headway and I'm so bothered by it. This is the one thing in my life I'm trying to do just for myself and I can't even get it right. Just like everything else in my life, I appear to be falling down on the job on a consistent basis.