Wednesday, July 7, 2010


1. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's official.  I am fat.  I have reached a weight I have never seen before in my life (outside of being pregnant) and it's disheartening to say the least.  I wish I was doing better with this but I'm not.  I'm lazy and I don't make the time I should to eat right or to exercise.  I admit that the exercise part is damn hard when it's over 90 degrees everyday but I should be eating far better than I am.

So.  It's time to unearth my willpower from where ever it was that I buried it, dust it off, and try it on for size.  It will probably be too small - just like all my clothes - but with a little effort, I should be able to stretch it.  In the immortal words of Shakespeare "once more into the breach." 

I'll let you know if I'm a miserable failure this time, too.

2.  Liam and I spent some time at the community pool today and I just have to ask - what is with all these suburban housewives with perfect bodies and tiny little bikinis?!  I wanted to open a vein right there in the pool with my tubby butt in my speedo tank suit.  I felt like I was hanging out with a bunch of ex-supermodels.  Where are all the real women at?  They say the average woman is a size 12 - not at the pool!  Oh no, these women are working to get up to a size 0.  Pass the Pringles, I'm depressed.

3.  A giant ugly flying beetle type thing hit the walk out patio door last night and scared me half to death.  The thing was so huge I thought a bird or a bat had flown into the window.  It was as big as my palm.

What in the name of the little baby Jesus is that thing?!  I was under the impression that I did not live at the equator (although current temps might belie that remark) where the bugs are as a big as your head.


4.  In a shocking twist, my neighbors did not turn my street into a war zone this Fourth of July.  Our community fireworks were on Saturday the 3rd and I expected at least some shenanigans that night.  Nope.  Not even a single firecracker went off.  On the 4th itself, there were other people setting off god knows what (and I hope you lost a finger while you were at it!) but no one chose to set up camp in my front yard to do it.  Moreover, none of my direct neighbors did it in their yards.  So there were some booms and such, but nothing like it's been in the past and neither of the kids woke up scared out of their minds.  I'll take that with a smile and a nod.

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