Phipps Conservatory: A Study in Innuendo

Before we begin, I would like to freely state that my mind lives not just in the gutter but the sewer itself.  I don't know where I got the penchant from but it's there and it makes me giggle at the stupidest things.  Yes, I am about as mature as a 12 year old.

So, with that in mind, I give you some pictures from recent Phipps visits that have me wondering if their gardeners are down here in the sewer with me.

First, a gargoyle from the current exhibit:

Ok, he's more well endowed than any gargoyle has a right to be.  I mean, I know that gargoyles are all about scaring off bad spirits, but that's going to scare off anyone!  What I find even more amusing is that upon entering Phipps this morning, they had planted more stuff in front of this gargoyle in order to hide his "prowess."

Next up, I give you this little gem:

That flower is doing its damnedest to use its stamen to lick her nipple.  It's not quuiiiiiittttte there yet but it sure is working on it!

And then we ran across this plant.  This is the pièce de résistance:

Yes, the leaves of that plant DO rather resemble certain male anatomical features.  Why do you ask?

They should advertise that place with the motto "Gardens are for lovers!"

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

It's a big week in our household.

Liam is officially on summer vacation.  Jamie is officially a daycare dude.

We chose to find a new center for Jamie because of some issues we had with our old center.  The new one is closer to the house and I was very impressed when I visited before registering Jamie.  We decided to send him just two days a week - enough to get him out of the house and socializing with other kids without overwhelming him.  We chose a Wednesday/Thursday schedule so he was there yesterday and today.

He's doing about as well as can be expected with the new environment.  He's certainly napping much better than Liam ever did when he first started daycare but he's still having a rough time in the evenings.  He's used to three hours of sleep during the day split between two naps.  At school he gets one nap and it's nowhere near three hours long.  So, by the time he hits the house he's pretty fried.  Tonight he is having a very hard time falling asleep and I know it's the result of him being overtired.

Liam, on the other hand, seems to be enjoying having some quiet time in the house without his brother.  It's nice to be able to do things with him and not be tied to Jamie's schedule.  I'm looking forward to playdates, museum trips, swim lessons, and fun at the conservatory this summer.

I'm enjoying being able to use the bathroom in peace not to mention being able to eat a meal unmolested.  Even if it's only two days a week it's still a tiny slice of sanity in an otherwise insane existence.  It's the small stuff that makes the difference.

I was a little worried about how all of this would work out but now that we've almost made it through the first week of the new schedule, I'm feeling like it wasn't such a big deal after all.  As they say - there's nothing so constant as change.

Me. Mini Me.

A study in familial resemblance.

This is me at around the age of two, I would guess. I apologize for the quality - the original is from the 70's and this is a scan.

Here is a photo I took of Jamie (now 15 months) over the weekend:

 

Nope, we're not related.  Not at all.

There's A Graduate in the House

It's official!  Liam is no longer a pre-schooler.

And in few years, it'll be Jamie's turn...

I'm so proud of him!  In the fall, it's off to Kindergarten.  :)

What Was Different About Today

Like almost every other parent in the Pittsburgh area, I read Burgh Baby. One of the things she has said about the challenge of blogging every day is that she asks herself "What was different about today?" Some days that answer is good, some days that answer is bad.

Today was one of the bad days in my house. Jamie is apparently working on another tooth and it's making him just about as miserable as he's ever been. He can't nap. He can't play. He can't eat. His whole world is revolving around the pain in his mouth. He's crabby, to say the least.

Liam isn't much better. Teeth are not his issue but I'm pretty sure the colony of bugs that crawled up his butt are causing some problems. His day can be summed up in one simple phrase: if given the choice between Devil or Angel, he chose Devil all day long. Jumping on the furniture? Check. Purposely doing things to make his brother cry? Check (as if Jamie needed any help with THAT). Sassing me? Checkity check check check.

I felt as though my whole day was spent yelling at one of them, attempting to console the other, and trying not to lose my cool.

Also different about today was the fact that I am in a frenzy of trip planning and packing as we are headed to Deep Creek for the holiday weekend. We're renting a house with my parents as well as my sister and her family. There are so many things to remember to pack that I have an entire pad of paper filled with lists and my head is regularly spinning. In between bouts of screaming, teething toddler and sassy, attitude-filled 5 year old I was attempting to take a whack at packing.

And then there were two moments, one really good and one enraging, that also made today different. I'll start with the good one just to break up all this whiny stuff.

I took the kids outside to play in the kiddie pool this afternoon. It was Jamie's first time doing so and he was pretty into it. I took a blanket out there with us and spread it on the lawn so I could sit and be comfortable while watching the kids. I took their towels and made a pillow so I could lay down and watch the fluffy white clouds drift by. I sat there listening to the wind in the trees and the laughter of my children. I thought to myself "Well, this is so much better than how the rest of the day has been!"

The enraging moment comes courtesy of a trip to the blog of Virginia Montanez. She has a post up today about Amy Ambrusko and the playground she is attempting to build in the memory of her two children who died in a car accident a year ago. Please go read the post for the full story as it's really too long to summarize here.

Suffice it to say that after I read it I was enraged. To think that some people would pull the "not in my backyard" crap when a woman who is grieving is just trying to do something to benefit others makes me stabby. Truly, truly stabby. What is wrong with some people? I sat there seething - I had such a long, miserable day with the kids and this only fed into my ridiculously bad mood. I was outraged for Amy.

Which led me to think about this: my kids may have driven me completely batshit insane today but they were here. Amy doesn't have that luxury. Who am I to let my bad mood get the best of me in the face of that? Of course, yes, I'm allowed to have a day in which I find being a parent to be the ultimate challenge. But, in the end, it's always good to remember that it could be a whole lot worse.

So there you have it. That's what was different about today.

Random Quotes

Liam spent some time with his Granddad yesterday and came home with The Lego Star Wars Visual Dictionary. He is in love with his new book and spends many a happy hour perusing its pages. This evening he told me "I love this book. I could read it a million times."

I never knew it was possible to be sick of Star Wars. Thanks a lot, Liam.
--------------------

Liam was having a hard time finishing his dinner tonight. Lucky me, I got to spend 20 minutes telling him to just eat his darn dinner. I think the words "Liam, JUST. EAT!" escaped my lips eleventy billion times. Finally he looked at me, sighed, and said "My life is so hard."

Excuse me while I roll my eyes all the way back into my head.
--------------------

After finally finishing his meal tonight, Liam was playing in the family room with Jamie. They'd found a Williams-Sonoma bag and were fighting with each other over it. At one point Liam tried to curl up as much of his body into the bag as possible and then declared "I'm the secret ingredient!!"

If crazy were a secret ingredient, you'd have that all sewn up, kid.

Make That Bike, Not Trike

Summer is upon us and thus it is the season of bike riding. Liam has a tricycle and helmet that he's had some interest in over the last couple of years but it's never really been a big thing. However, this spring, it was painfully obvious that the tricycle is officially too small.

Well, we finally remedied that problem.

We bought him a two-wheeler with training wheels and a new helmet because he outgrew the other one. Which, as an aside, holy crap! I knew the kid had a big head (oh BOY do I know) but we bought him the 5+ size when he was three and we just purchased the 8+ size - he is five. I constantly wonder how he fits that melon through the neck of his shirts.

Without further ado - his first time on the new bike: