Summer Ends, Second Grade Begins

Second grade. Second grade!  I will probably say something to that effect every year, won't I?

Liam started second grade on Thursday of last week.  He wasn't nervous, he wasn't worried, it was no big deal to him. He hopped on the bus and headed off to school without a backward glance.

The other mothers and me? Cheering. The bus driver was laughing her head off at us.

He likes his teacher, knows all his classmates, and seems to have settled into the routine of school without too much trouble. Last year was a difficult transition. He has spent a year going to half-day kindergarten and then he transitioned to full day first grade.  That first month of school was brutal with him. He was tired and cranky and difficult. This year is another story.  He seems to be falling back into the school routine with almost no trouble. *knock on wood*

Today begins the first full week of school and, looking back on last year's post from this time, it was not an easy week last year. I hope that it's easier on everyone this year.

Here's to school and an end to The Crap Filled Summer of 2012!

Ready to head to the bus stop!

Jamie got in the way but it's too cute not to share.

A Post More Than 2 Years In The Making

Yesterday Liam took his final color belt test in Tae Kwon-Do to earn his third (and last) black stripe on his red belt.  From this time on, there will be no more tests until he tests for his black belt. We anticipate that happening in April of next year as long as he keeps up the hard work.

I admit I was a little apprehensive about his performance at this test. After his slip up at the last test, I wanted to make sure he felt confident in all the patterns he had to do. We threw an extra class in here and there over the last 2 months and that seemed to prepare him.

He had to do 2 patterns that he had done before for other belt tests and one brand new pattern - Chin-Moo. Which, I am shocked to say, he learned in its entirety in a single class. That kid has a mind like a steel trap.

(A word on the videos - I did the best I could but an adult who was testing kept getting in my line of sight. Also, I got a little wobbly. Sorry, folks.)

First, he had to do Te-Ge.

Next was Fur-Ahn (I missed the first couple of movements in this one).

Last, Chin-Moo.

Flawless.

After he performed patterns they sparred in groups.  My pictures from that are mostly blurry but he did a pretty good job.  Then, it was time for breaking, which he crushed.

Like a boss.

Finally, it was time to be awarded with his stripe.

Three! Three black stripes!

When it comes time to test for his black belt, Liam will have to perform all nine of the patterns he learned to earn his black stripes. It's a good thing we have 8 months to prepare!

I know he can do it, though. He started out 2 years ago having no real idea how to make his body be so coordinated. He was so awkward - all elbows and knees sticking out. But he kept at it. He worked hard. He did all they asked him to do. He practiced at home. He went to class twice a week every week; summer, fall, winter, and spring. Now he is poised to prove he's worthy to wear a Young Brothers black belt. I know he is. I can't wait to see it happen.

Pumpkin Farming

Near the end of the school year, Liam came home one day with a pumpkin plant that he had started from a seed in his classroom. It came home in a plastic cup with some dirt and had two vines each with a single leaf on it.  He wanted to try and grow pumpkins.

This is not an easy proposition around here.  We don't have much full sun and the wildlife like to eat anything and everything they can get their greedy little hooves/paws on.  But, since he wanted to try we decided to give it a whirl.

We have a spot at the end of the sidewalk up to the porch that is about as full sun as it gets around our house.  It usually stands empty all summer or spends a good deal of time collecting weeds.  Once or twice we've had flowers but it's clear that I'm not the world's best gardner so it gets ignored a lot.  Why not grow a pumpkin plant?

So that's what we did.  I planted his little two vine plant with some miracle grow and lots of water.  We watched it sprout more leaves and then more vines, then the vines got longer and the leaves got bigger. Finally, it started producing flower buds.  All the time this was happening I was peppering the plant every time I thought of it and especially after a good rain. It kept the deer and rabbits off.

For almost 2 weeks all we had were big male flowers on the plant - gorgeous and bright orange.  I started to think it was never going to produce female flowers (and thus fruit).  But, it didn't disappoint me and I started to see signs of budding fruit and flowers.

This week, the first female flower bloomed and we got lucky that a male flower bloomed the same day.  I hope the bees did their job, too!

Our first pumpkin after the flower bloomed.

But wait! There's more coming!

Tiny one a-growin'!

You'll have to forgive the weeds in this next picture. I figure the animals might munch on THOSE instead of my pumpkin so I left them alone.  When I get a chance I've got to go in there and try to weed it out a bit.

It's gotten a lot bigger since we started!

With fruit beginning to develop I've been worried that peppering the plant just won't cut it because it'll be too irresistible to hungry deer.  In order to prevent that (we hope!), Liam and I went out this week and got some posts and some fencing to try and keep those greedy guts out.  I really hope it works!

Our attempt at deer deterrent.

When Liam came home with the plant I was less than enthusiastic but now I'm pretty excited about this.  If we can keep up the momentum and keep out the animals, we might just be able to say we grew our own jack o'lanterns this Halloween!

Two Black Stripes Earned, One To Go

Over the weekend, while my parents were here, Liam tested for the second black stripe on his red belt.  I expected this to go as smoothly as all his other tests have gone.

I was wrong.

This was the first test in which Liam struggled.  When it was time for his group of kids to get up and do their patterns (he, again, had to perform three), Liam got lost about halfway into the first pattern and got very confused.  I don't know if it was heightened nerves because he wanted to show his Oma and Puppa how hard he's worked or if knowing I was video taping him distracted him.  Whatever the case, he stopped and had to start over.  When that happened, I put down the camera because I didn't want to put pressure on him.

He was pretty upset by his mistake.  I could see him holding back tears and he had to wipe his eyes once.  But Grandmaster Kong encouraged him by saying "We all make mistakes and we all lose our focus. Just start over and do your best, I know you can do it."

And he did.  He got all the way through his first pattern without mistake the second time he tried.  Then he went on and performed the second and third patterns flawlessly.  When he sat down again, I could tell he was still upset and kept looking at me with a sick look on his face.

When he came over to suit up for sparring, I looked at him and said "You did great.  It's OK. You're going to pass and I'm proud of you." Then we got him ready for sparring.  He did fine after that.  Sparring went well and breaking was a piece of cake.

I told him afterwards that I was most proud of how he got himself under control, started again, and did his very best.  After all these tests and all the times he's breezed through without a problem, I was really glad to see that he didn't give up after one mistake.  Sometimes he has the tendency to get very upset if he doesn't get something right the first time he tries it.  He proved to himself that he can do it.  I'm so proud of him.

He has one more stripe to earn in August and then he'll begin preparation for his black belt.  He won't test for his black belt until April of 2013.  He'll have plenty of time to master the necessary skills by then.

Puppa and Spud

Kicking Butt And Taking Names

Liam had another tournament for Tae Kwon-Do this morning and he did fantastically well.  I'm tired so this is going to be a bit of a truncated post in terms of narrative but you can get the idea from the pictures.

Liam competed in patterns, sparring, and breaking.  He did not place in pattern, took 1st in his sparring group, and 3rd in his breaking group. Competition was tougher this time around.  He's now in a group of kids that are more practiced and to win you have to be really on point.  I wasn't too surprised he didn't place in pattern.  He was by no means the worst in his ring, but there were other kids who were note perfect.

But that's OK with me because of two things.  1) He got up and he did his best and 2) I love watching him do it at all.  No matter where he places I'm proud of him.

When it came time for sparring I was practically bursting watching him. Sparring has never been Liam's strong suit - he does pretty well but he does tend to back down to more aggressive kids.  I don't know what exactly changed his mind today (not placing in pattern?) but he just refused to back down. He blocked his opponents and went on the offensive from the word 'spar.'  That earned him the first place trophy in his group. It's nearly as tall as he is.

Liam on the right, blocking the kick

Liam on the right, blocking the punch and landing a point

First place!

For breaking, he broke three boards individually (some kids were stacking boards; Liam chose not to) with various foot strikes.  I saw several much more complicated breaks in his group but those kids didn't place because they either failed to break the board or it took them multiple tries.  Liam had to try twice on one board but otherwise broke on the first strike.  This was enough to land him in third.

An extremely proud Spud

All in all it was a really great day for him.  There was a lot of waiting and waiting and waiting (and more waiting) involved but he sat through it all without a single complaint.  He did his best, tried his hardest, and showed off his skills. I couldn't be prouder.

Liam and his trophies

Black Stripe!

Today was a big day for Liam; he tested for his first black stripe.

This meant that today's test was different from past tests.  Instead of being asked to perform one pattern, he had to perform three.  In addition to his regular sparring requirement, he also had to break two boards.  He was really looking forward to the board breaking.

For the patterns, Liam had to execute the first three patterns he ever learned - his white belt pattern, yellow stripe pattern, and double yellow stripe pattern.

For comparison, here is Liam doing Chon-Ji as a white belt.

Here is Chon-Ji as executed this morning:

I am impressed beyond words with the progress Liam has made.  I know he's been at this for two full years and by now he really ought to have improved (and he has!) but the video proof of exactly how far he has come is just astonishing to me. I am so proud of him I could burst.

Here are the other two patterns he had to do - Dan-Gun and Do-San.

All flawlessly executed.

When it was time for breaking, I could tell that he was beyond excited.  I managed to get a primo spot for photos and here is the proof of his breaking prowess.

Jumping side kick.  BAM!

Turning back kick. Please note the board broke in THREE pieces - piece 3 is between the master's arms.

He was duly awarded his black stripe and I was so proud of him I practically burst into tears.  That's my baby kicking ass out there!

We all needed a little something to celebrate around here and we got it.  Congratulations, Liam.  Your perseverance and hard work are an inspiration.

Last, the man responsible:

Grandmaster Young Bo Kong

Finally, A Doctor With Sense

Earlier this week, we finally got to see the allergist for Liam's problems.  To review, see this post. So, he's been off the oral steroids for 8 weeks now.  We've switched his antacid medication from Prilosec to Pepcid on the advice of his pediatrician who didn't seem to think getting him on an antihistamine based antacid was a bad thing.  Liam has been fine on the Pepcid and we can get it over the counter so that's where we left it.

I was fairly certain that our appointment with the allergist would be a complete waste of time for us and that Liam would have to go through a scratch test before all was said and done.  I only kept the appointment on the advice of our pediatrician whom I trust implicitly.

It turns out that the allergist was also a realist.  When I laid out the whole situation for her and explained that he was doing so much better on just the Pepcid, she didn't see any need to try to fix something that wasn't broken.  I told her that my mother's intuition was saying that his issues had more to do with GERD than with an allergy.  She seemed to agree and based on his complete LACK of symptoms, she said it really wasn't necessary to put Liam through a scratch test because she was fairly sure it would come up with nothing.

She also said that if it comes down to Liam needing the steroid treatment, there are a lot of options for us - we could switch steroids, we could change frequency, we could change dosage - all things that the gastroenterologist refused to discuss with me.  She, too, seemed a little puzzled that the GI doc had never seen a kid get twitchy on steroids.

So, for the time being, we leave Liam on the Pepcid and we don't screw around with anything else.  His symptoms have resolved and there's no reason to poke or prod him further.  If his symptoms should return or get worse, of course we will return to the doctors.

Thank goodness at least one of the doctors was willing to talk to me like I was an intelligent human being and take what I was saying at face value.  Liam has been through enough.

Red Belt Earned

Yesterday Liam tested for his red belt.  Being a red belt means new things for Liam in Tae Kwon-Do.  It means that he'll move out of the class he was in and up into the more advanced class for red belts and black belts.  It also means that from here on out he must break boards at each test (something he's very much looking forward to). Last, it means that he's on his last color belt before black.

As always, video of his pattern:

I also got at least one decent sparring photo:

Liam, center right

Now that he's a red belt he's on the last major leg of the road to black belt.  He must earn 3 black stripes on his red belt and for each stripe he must perform 3 of the the patterns he's previously learned (1st stripe, 1st three patterns, and so on).  Once he's completed that he must be a triple black stripe for 6 months before he will be eligible to test for black.  Our dojang runs black belt testing twice a year in April and October.  Given the timing of things it looks like he'll be testing for black sometime in April of 2013 as long as everything keeps going well.

We're very proud of how hard he's worked and how much dedication he's had. 

The Very Image Of A Birthday

Launching Into Seven

Today Liam turns seven. SEVEN. I say it every year and it is still true: how does time go by so fast?

Of course, I'm sure my own mother is sitting around thinking "how the heck did Cari get to be 35?!"

What can I say about Liam that hasn't already been said?  He remains the sweet, smart, wonderful, loving and caring kid he's always been.  He's also rambunctious, occasionally cantankerous, and can deploy sarcasm with deadly accuracy.  He can teeter between Tough Guy one minute and Caring Sensitivity the next.

I love that he and Jamie are suddenly starting to play together and enjoy it.  That's not to say that they don't annoy each other - and with Jamie entering the Terrifically Terrible Threes that happens a lot - but it's a nice change to hear them giggling together.

Over the last year he's found new depths of self-control and discipline as he continues his study of Tae Kwon-Do and entered school full time.  First grade has been wonderful for him and he has really been enjoying it.  His teacher makes the classroom a fun and engaging place to be which makes learning that much more exciting for Liam.

I'm so proud of the person he is becoming and I wonder how we managed it. How did all our mistakes get outweighed by whatever it was we did right? And can we continue that?

So here's to Year Seven - may it bring more happiness and joy.  Happy Birthday, Liam!

On This Day In History...

The year is 2005 and this is what I looked like:

I was 39 weeks pregnant and, clearly, I'm ecstatic about this fact.  Three days later, Liam entered our lives.

Before we knew it, 7 years had flown past and we had this on our hands:

In three more days he'll turn 7 and I really don't think I could have gotten a more awesome kid.

The Parade Marches On

The parade of doctors, that is.

To review, Liam has a condition called eosinophilic esophagitis. It's poorly understood but the current thinking is that it stems from an allergic reaction and causes inflammation and other damage to the esophagus. The allergy can be food borne or environmental. We had him tested for food allergies and his tests came back negative. The standard course of treatment for EE is 6 weeks of twice a day liquid steroids by mouth - either Pulmicort or FloVent (usually asthma meds but used off label for this condition). They are short acting corticosteroids so they're not supposed to have bad side effects. But we have a family history of not tolerating steroids at all well.

The steroids made Liam fidgety - like he couldn't sit inside his own skin - and unable to sleep. Those two things combined to give us a kid riding the edge of breakdown in the 3 short days he was on the meds. When we called the doc about it she said to take him off for a week and then get back to her. We did so; he returned to normal - thank goodness because this was all leaking out in the classroom setting as well. We called the doc back on Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. Finally, I called again yesterday and left the smack down message and they called back.

Basically, the GI swears she's never seen anyone react in this manner to the meds. I think that's shoddy medicine. It's BASIC MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE that steroids do weird shit to people. They have their uses but they also have side effects. Even the short actors do and it all depends on personal body chemistry in terms of what can be tolerated and what cannot. I don't know how she made it through medical school and specialty training without knowing this. For her to claim that she's stumped by his reaction makes me want to throttle her. But, because this condition is not well understood or known, there aren't really alternative treatments. Her only suggestion was to make an appointment to see an allergist. "Go see the allergist and see if they have anything they can do." I suspect they'll start with a scratch test for environmental allergies.

I called the allergist to make an appointment and there is an 8 week wait.  TWO MONTHS.  We have to wait until March 19th.  We've been navigating these waters since November.  It took until January just to rule out Celiac and get an answer about what's really going on.  Now, the GI finds herself stumped and we have to wait it out another two months before we get more information and can move forward with treatment (I hope we can move forward, that is).

I'm still stumped though. Yes, and allergist is going to understand the medications better because they prescribe them more but they way they prescribe it requires a nebulizer and that isn't the way Liam was told to take them. Furthermore, even if the allergist can pinpoint an environmental allergy what the hell do we do then? Put him on Claritin? How does that help his esophagus? I've had environmental allergies all my life and I don't see how treating those are going to help his digestive system (except to knock back whatever allergic reaction he's having - which I understand but the reaction is severe enough to cause damage, hence the need for steroids). I also don't see why we can't just change his GERD medication from Prilosec to Zantac or Pepcid. Those two medication are anti-histamines. If we're dealing with allergies + GERD, I see a two birds/one stone situation.  Finally, the big question still left unanswered is "If we never identify the allergy that is the underlying cause, will this keep happening to him?"

They claim we can't ignore the condition but the meds they want to treat him with are worse than the disease. Rock, hard place, us in between.

Gee, Thanks

Driving home from getting Liam's blood draw today, we could see the outline of the moon in the afternoon sky.

"Hey Liam - look at the moon!"

"Cool!  How come it's up, Mom?"

"Well, sweetie, I'm not entirely sure about that.  You could ask Daddy, though, since he knows more about astronomy.  I'm going to guess that the moon is always there we just can't always see it when it's light out."

There was a bit of a pause from the back seat.  Then...

"I'm not saying you're dumb, Mom, it's just that Daddy is smarter that you are.  I'm just saying."

Well then.  Glad I wasted 4.5 years getting a college degree.  It's amazing I can mange to drive a car and work that laundry gizmo in the basement.  I think I'll get myself a helmet to wear on a permanent basis.  Ya know, because I'm not too careful being not as smart as Daddy and all that.

I suppose he could have told me my butt was too big, but somehow that seems like it might not have been so bad.

GOOD. NEWS.

We got a call from Liam's gastroenterologist this evening and guess what?  HE DOESN'T HAVE CELIAC.

*deep sigh of relief*

However, he does have a condition called eosinophilic esophagitis.  If you click on the link, you'll get a run down of what this condition is and how it's treated.  It's not a very well understood disease and it seems as if treatment is constantly evolving (I say that because everything I read says something different).

Anyway, the short explanation is that the root cause (they think) is some kind of allergy.  That allergy can be food borne or environmental so pinning down the underlying issue is often impossible.  The doctor said that 75% of her patients that have this disorder never pin down the allergy.  However, we are going to be doing some blood tests to check for common food allergies just to see if something does pop up.

In the meantime, we can still treat the issue.  He'll remain on the Prilosec that has been making such a difference for him and we'll be starting a 6 week course of short-acting steroids.  I wasn't initially happy about this because steroids?  Not great for bone development.  But this isn't cortizone or prednisone.  He'll be on something like FloVent or Pulmicort and those drugs are much shorter acting and therefore don't have the same side effects.  They are such short actors that he's not allowed to eat or drink for 60 min. following each dose because if he does he'll inactivate the meds.  The steroids will bring swelling down and allow the tissues of his esophagus to heal.

After he completes the course of steroids, we'll go back to the gastroenterologist for a follow up appointment to discuss how Liam is doing and if there are further steps to be taken.

I'm not jumping up and down excited that he has this.  Chances are good that we won't be able to determine what caused this in the first place and if we don't - does that mean it'll keep happening?  I worry about that.  In the same breath, it's not Celiac.  It's not an autoimmune disorder.  It could be so much worse and leave him open for so many other diseases.  This?  This I can deal with.

A Very Lego Christmas

Liam got a lot of Legos for Christmas this year.  Not only did he get his beloved Ninjago Fire Temple from Santa but he also received a Star Wars Venator Class Star Destroyer (pay no attention to the price; we didn't pay that) and a Star Wars ARC-170 Starfighter. 

While the starfighter was a reasonable number of pieces and something he was able to build with only a small bit of help from us, the Fire Temple and the star destoryer were 1174 pieces and 1170 pieces, respectively.

That's a lot of Legos.

He decided to tackle the starfighter first and after that was done, he dug into the star destroyer.  You guys.  HOLY. CRAP.

Many larger Lego sets come with the pieces apportioned into bags and each of those bags is numbered so that you can open the first bag, use those pieces to build as you follow the directions, then open the second bag when instructed and so on and so forth.  Not so with the star destroyer.

Oh no.  It had at least 10 bags and no numbers so guess what we had to do? Open every single bag and sort all 1170 pieces before building could even begin.

It takes up fully half of the table.

Ignore the disgusting chandelier. If you look to the left, that's the starfighter he built first.

Liam started building the star destroyer on his own but it was a complicated item to build.  It folds open so that you can play inside the ship with the included mini figures.  It has a shuttle that is removable.  It has a bomb bay that drops little Lego bombs when you turn a mechanism.

So, Liam needed some help.

Building with Dad

When Dad needed to take a break, Liam worked on his own.  When he needed some more help, I pitched in and helped build. In the end, we finished the piece a couple of hours before more company was due to arrive - which was good because I needed my table back!

The finished ship

The next day he wanted to tackle the Ninjago Fire Temple.  This time when we opened the box there were numbered bags.  Huzzah!!  So, Liam sat down with the directions and a pair of scissors to open bags with and started building.

Two to three hours and 1174 pieces later (and with no help from anyone) he had a completed Fire Temple.

Now I just have to convince him to clean up his damn room so that the Legos can go THERE.

Word Search

Liam has a new business venture.

I came upon him the other day with a notebook and pencil and I asked what he was working on.

"I'm doing a word search, Mom."

I peeked over his shoulder to discover that he was creating his own word search.  The notebook was one that had graph paper in it and he had set aside a block of squares in which to make his word search.  Then, down the margin of one side, he wrote the words to look for in the box.

He worked on this slowly over a number of days and in that time developed his business plan.  He would print up more of them and sell them at school.  So far, this has not materialized but hey, he's got a plan.  Hopefully this will help finance his move when he turns 10.

More News On The Celiac Front

On Monday we took Liam to see the gastroenterologist regarding his test results and symptoms.  I didn't expect for there to be much forward progress at this appointment but I was looking forward to talking things over with someone more versed in these issues.

I love the doctor we saw.  She was really, really wonderful and saw Liam as a whole person and not just a cluster of symptoms.

The upshot is that we're still on the fence about Celiac.

It comes down to this: Celiac is a microscopic diagnosis and the blood tests can be decent predictors but they're not definitive.  The only way to be definitive is to do an upper endoscopy and take some biopsy samples.  This is what the doctor recommended and what I expected to hear from her.

What I didn't expect was that she has her doubts about the blood work.  While his symptoms do fit a Celiac profile, there are some things that don't quite fit.  His abdominal pain, for one thing, is quite high - just under the sternum - and not lower down at all - especially now that we've increased the fiber in his diet and alleviated much of his issues with constipation.  For another, I think she was a little surprised that he's not having diarrhea problems.

Third, the blood panel they did on him tested for three values.  One was positive, two were negative.  According to the doctor, one of the ones that was negative is a better Celiac predictor than the one that was positive.  There's wiggle room here.

So, while she wants to do the scope to find out exactly what's happening and get the definitive yes/no on Celiac, she also prescribed Prilosec for him.  Given his history of infant reflux and the nature of his pain, she thought it was worth a try.  If it worked and gave him some relief that was a good thing.  If not - well, at least we tried.

We came home Monday night and gave him his first dose and he did fine with it.  Last night he had pasta for dinner.  He quickly ate the fairly generous portion I served him and then asked for more.  He hasn't asked for second helpings of anything in months.  So, I gave him the rest of what I had - which was about equivalent to his first helping.  He finished that, too.  He also ate all of his applesauce.  Then, he went to Tae Kwon-do and immediately upon arriving home said, "I'm hungry!"  Before bed he got his second dose of Prilosec.

This morning he ate breakfast with no problems, no dwaddling, no begging from me for him to finish.  As he was eating I said, "It seems like you've been hungrier since you started your new medicine.  Is it helping you feel better?"  He said, "Yeah, and my hunger is going up and up."

Could his weight loss have been due to not eating because of acid reflux?

Frankly, I feel really dumb not figuring this out for myself.  I have lost count of the number of times my kids have seen doctors because of some weird symptoms that turned out to be reflux and DUH! I know how to deal with that.  It's just that if one of my kids was going to have long term issues with this, I fully expected it to be Jamie because he was so much worse as an infant than Liam was.

This is not to say that we are out of the woods on Celiac yet, though.  It's still possible that he has it and it's possible that he has both the reflux AND the Celiac pulling a double whammy on him.  We won't know for sure until the endoscopy results come back.  His procedure has been scheduled for the week between Christmas and New Year's when he's off school.  I suspect we won't have the results back until after the first of the year.

Until then, if the kid wants to eat me out of house and home, I'll gladly allow it.

Red Stripe!

No, not the beer.

Liam tested yesterday for his red stripe on his blue belt.  It was sort of a formality given that he took a bronze in tournament with this same pattern a month ago.  Needless to say, he passed with flying colors.  BUT! I got lucky this time out.  There were only three kids testing for red stripe and Liam was the closest to me so I got great video of his pattern.  So, here it is!

He did a great job.  Now, it's on to his red belt and the last new pattern he will learn for a long time.  Once he earns his red belt he must earn three black stripes before he can test for black belt and for each of those stripes he must perform three of the 9 previous patterns he's learned.  Come February (when he tests for red) he's going to be doing a lot of review of patterns.

Keep it up the great work, kiddo!

Worried and Scared

I'm not sure I'm going to click "publish" on this post but I can't keep myself from feeling the need to write it out so write it out I will.  If I do hit publish and you feel the need to comment that I'm just a whiny whinerton who needs to shut up unless she has real problems, you can just skip right over to some other place on the internet.  I don't need that today.

Today may go down as the day that changed our family.  I know that sounds melodramatic and ridiculous but it's how I feel right now.  I'll admit up front that I'm upset and a scared and feeling a large dose of panic about this so that undoubtedly makes this all seem worse.

To explain, let me go back a bit.  Liam has been having some troubles off and on for a few months that finally led us to take him to the doctor.  They were mostly gastro-intestinal issues so I'm not going to get graphic about it.  When Scot took him to the doc, they weighed him and he'd lost two pounds.

That's a big deal for Liam - a very, very big deal.  Liam is almost 7 years old and he now weighs 44 pounds.  He's very skinny and also a bit short for his age.  Much of this is due to his genetics but the fact remains that he gains weight excruciatingly slowly and cannot afford to lose any of it, much less two pounds.  It is not unusual for Liam to spend an entire year gaining that much weight.

When Scot discussed all of the seemingly disparate symptoms with our pediatrician they decided to run some blood tests on Liam and get an abdominal x-ray.  I wasn't able to be at the appointment so when Scot called to tell me what was going on, I got upset.  I thought it was a simple matter to deal with (hey! my kid's butt won't stop itching!) and instead they walked out needing diagnostic tests.

One of the blood panels they ran was to rule out Celiac Disease.  Our pediatrician basically said that he didn't think this was really Liam's problem but better to run everything at once rather than have to take him back for a second stick later.  We figured that if anything came back wonky, it would be his iron level.

His abdominal x-ray was normal.  We found that out the same day they did it.  Today I got the call about the blood work and one of his numbers on the Celiac panel was elevated.  To give you an idea, the number should be below 20 for a negative result for Celiac.  20-30 is a weak positive.  Above 30 is a stronger positive.  Liam's number was 31.  The other measurement on the Celiac panel was normal.

What does this mean?  It means more tests.  It means a specialist.  It means more investigation.  It's possible, given his fence-sitting results, that he does NOT have Celiac.  It's also very possible that he does.

Now, Celiac has been getting a lot of attention recently as diagnoses are on the rise - not because incidence is increasing but because doctors are getting better at recognizing the symptoms.  So, it's possible you've heard that the 'cure' (not really, it doesn't go away) for the disease is a gluten-free diet.

Great, you say.  What's your beef?  Why are you freaking? Feed him different food and he'll be fine.  If you have to deal with an auto-immune disorder, it's best if it's Celiac since it's treated by dietary changes.  You're golden!

Except we're talking about a 6 year old kid with food issues.  He is a supremely picky eater whose favorite food is PASTA of all things.  We've had dozens of conversations with Liam about the state of his eating habits and he always says "OK, Mommy" and promises to try new things.  Then, when push comes to shove, he can't do it and he's puking up corn (or whatever else we've asked him to try).  Part of my panic is about the very real possibility that World War III is about to erupt in my household over dietary changes.

Celiac is still an auto-immune disorder, 'good' one or not.  And that means he'll have increased risk for a lot of other potentially awful things.  Doing some basic reading up on it today left me breathless and in tears.  I'm scared for my kid.

People with celiac disease are more likely to have:

• Autoimmune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis, systemic lupus erythematosus, and Sjogren syndrome
• Addison's disease
• Down syndrome
• Intestinal cancer
• Intestinal lymphoma
• Lactose intolerance
• Thyroid disease
• Type 1 diabetes

Source

Gluten-free means huge added expenses to our grocery bills.  It means absolute vigilance about everything he puts in his mouth.  It means he'll never be able to eat the sweet treats his classmates bring in for birthdays or that are a part of class parties.  It means the family recipes that I've long treasured and enjoyed baking with him will no longer be safe for him to eat.  I'm sad about the loss of those things.

I'm scared and worried about navigating the enormous amount of upheaval this will cause in our lives.  Of couse I believe that we can get through it and figure it out.  Of course I know that we have doctors and professionals and the internet to help us through.  But, for now - just for today, I feel overwhelmed.

One Small Gesture

It's been one hell of a week in this house.  Three of the four of us were sick with a nasty cold and Scot was diagnosed with a cracked rib.  Of course, they only discovered that after 2 ER visits, 2 doctor visits, multiple chest x-rays, blood tests, and a CT scan.  But I digress.

So, yeah, it's been a long rotten week (hence the lack of blogging - when I blog and I'm cranky I get comments about how if that's all I have to bitch about I should shut up.  So I don't blog when I'm cranky).  We've been muddling through as best we can but Scot was having a really hard time - mostly because he felt like he couldn't breathe - and wasn't really able to do much more than lay in bed and try to catch his breath.

Liam, sensitive kid that he is, picked up on all this and presented Scot with this note two nights ago:

" Dad I will love you forever.

I really {love} Dad.

You are the best Dad ever.

You are great.

I love you lots and lots.

You are the best Dad ever."

One little note and life doesn't seem so tough anymore.