What Was Different About Today

Like almost every other parent in the Pittsburgh area, I read Burgh Baby. One of the things she has said about the challenge of blogging every day is that she asks herself "What was different about today?" Some days that answer is good, some days that answer is bad.

Today was one of the bad days in my house. Jamie is apparently working on another tooth and it's making him just about as miserable as he's ever been. He can't nap. He can't play. He can't eat. His whole world is revolving around the pain in his mouth. He's crabby, to say the least.

Liam isn't much better. Teeth are not his issue but I'm pretty sure the colony of bugs that crawled up his butt are causing some problems. His day can be summed up in one simple phrase: if given the choice between Devil or Angel, he chose Devil all day long. Jumping on the furniture? Check. Purposely doing things to make his brother cry? Check (as if Jamie needed any help with THAT). Sassing me? Checkity check check check.

I felt as though my whole day was spent yelling at one of them, attempting to console the other, and trying not to lose my cool.

Also different about today was the fact that I am in a frenzy of trip planning and packing as we are headed to Deep Creek for the holiday weekend. We're renting a house with my parents as well as my sister and her family. There are so many things to remember to pack that I have an entire pad of paper filled with lists and my head is regularly spinning. In between bouts of screaming, teething toddler and sassy, attitude-filled 5 year old I was attempting to take a whack at packing.

And then there were two moments, one really good and one enraging, that also made today different. I'll start with the good one just to break up all this whiny stuff.

I took the kids outside to play in the kiddie pool this afternoon. It was Jamie's first time doing so and he was pretty into it. I took a blanket out there with us and spread it on the lawn so I could sit and be comfortable while watching the kids. I took their towels and made a pillow so I could lay down and watch the fluffy white clouds drift by. I sat there listening to the wind in the trees and the laughter of my children. I thought to myself "Well, this is so much better than how the rest of the day has been!"

The enraging moment comes courtesy of a trip to the blog of Virginia Montanez. She has a post up today about Amy Ambrusko and the playground she is attempting to build in the memory of her two children who died in a car accident a year ago. Please go read the post for the full story as it's really too long to summarize here.

Suffice it to say that after I read it I was enraged. To think that some people would pull the "not in my backyard" crap when a woman who is grieving is just trying to do something to benefit others makes me stabby. Truly, truly stabby. What is wrong with some people? I sat there seething - I had such a long, miserable day with the kids and this only fed into my ridiculously bad mood. I was outraged for Amy.

Which led me to think about this: my kids may have driven me completely batshit insane today but they were here. Amy doesn't have that luxury. Who am I to let my bad mood get the best of me in the face of that? Of course, yes, I'm allowed to have a day in which I find being a parent to be the ultimate challenge. But, in the end, it's always good to remember that it could be a whole lot worse.

So there you have it. That's what was different about today.

Today I Am Grateful

There are days I get so caught up in my own life that I can barely see past the end of my own nose.

Today is not one of those days. Today I have spent a lot of time worrying, wondering, hoping, and praying about the children in the BRESMA orphanage in Haiti. As I've thought about them I've looked at my own kids and been so grateful that they are safe and healthy.

I held Jamie and Liam a little closer today.

I'm grateful I have enough food to feed them. I'm grateful I have enough clothes to keep them warm. I'm grateful I have a house for them to live in. I'm grateful I can drive 20 minutes and buy Costco sized boxes of diapers. I'm grateful for running water and heat.

I feel impotent in the face of what those two young women and their 150 charges are going through. I've done what little I can and now we must wait for the cogs of government to work. We have to pray that those cogs work at breakneck speed. I hope that somehow they can get the supplies they need to last another night. Another day. I hope that they can get out before the looting and riots take over.

But most of all I feel grateful for all that I have and all that I am given.

(for updates and news about BRESMA, read Virginia Montanez's blog That's Church and follow her on twitter.)