Tonight at dinner I brought up the question of when it becomes OK for Liam to use a public restroom alone. He's 5 now and when he's out with me I always wonder if I should take him in the ladies room with me or send him into the mens room alone. I'm hesitant about sending him in alone. So, I asked Scot about it and he said he'd have to think about it.
Liam was taking all of this in as we discussed it.
Then, I mentioned that before he goes into a public restroom alone he's got to perfect a technique or two. Like not wiping after he pees. Like learning the fine art of the shake. Like not putting TP in the urinal. Like not pulling his pants to the floor in order to pee.
"I know how to use a urinal, Momma!" he said.
"I know, honey, but you can't put toilet paper in the urinal. You're not supposed to wipe when you use one. You're supposed to shake," I replied.
"I already know how to do that," he said and then proceeded to wiggle his whole body.
Scot and I giggled and told him it wasn't that kind of shake. I told him that Daddy could show him how and he kind of got this funny look on his face and I said that Daddy had to show him because I don't have a penis so I can't show him how.
"I have a penis! It's in my underwear!" he exclaimed.
Scot and I started giggling again.
"Honey, we know it's in your pants. We'd be worried if it was anywhere else," Scot said.
"Yeah. Like on my chin!"
That's my kid. Liam the Penis-Chinned Boy.