B-U-S-T-E-D, You Are Busted!

The other day, I opened one of the cabinets in the kitchen and found this:

Guess who was responsible? I'll give you three guesses but it should only take one.


Apparently, Jamie objected to keeping the baby food in the pantry closet. According to him it belongs with the blender and the Kitchen Aid. Now that he's not actually eating the stuff, the few jars I have hanging around have become toys to him. He spent a great deal of time getting them arranged to his satisfaction in the cabinet.

I suppose it's better than taking apart my back door - which was his brother's preoccupation at this age.

Roundup Time!

1. I have been remiss in updating about the diet. Oh, that pesky diet. Well, the week after I regained 2 pounds, I neither gained nor lost. That was frustrating in the extreme. But, I suspect it was the result of certain womanly cycles because this past week I lost 1.5 lbs. So, yay me! With the weather warming up I've gotten out to walk a few times - not as much as I need or want to but it's better than nothing. Also, I am eating a lot more salads for lunch since it's not cold and I'm not craving an entire pot of macaroni and cheese. ("Thy Mac and Thy Cheese, they comfort me." Hibernation, Chapter 2, Verse 3.)

I've also recently discovered an obsession with pickles, of all things. Did you know they're only 5 calories a spear? Holy hell - crunchy and salty and zingy all at once plus a snack that is almost good for me! Bring on the pickles.

So, if I can keep myself on track, I'm hoping to crack off another pound or so this week. Keep on chugging, Cari.

2. My son informed me the other day that he had a dream about me. This didn't seem so unusual given that he sees me every day. Then he told me that in the dream I was dressed as Slave Leia from Return of the Jedi. I'm fairly certain that no 5 year old boy is going to see that costume in the same way that every other adult sees that costume so I think I'm safe from the whole Oedipal thing for now. Plus, it's kind of a compliment that he thinks I could wear such a get up.

Although the thought of me actually donning it and what I would look like wearing it makes me want to go screaming into the night. That is NOT a good mental picture.

3. A week or so ago, I took Liam to see "How To Train Your Dragon." He had seen a preview of it when we went to see another movie and he had been talking about wanting to go so I got a sitter for Jamie and he and I went as a date. I wasn't expecting much figuring that it was just another kids movie that I would find vaguely amusing and think was just OK. I was wrong.

If you have not yet seen this movie, stop reading this and go look up the nearest theatre and soonest showtime. Then get your ass there and see it. It was FABULOUS. I actually sat on the edge of my seat during the climax of the film with my hands clasped hoping it would all turn out OK. (and of course it does - it's a KID movie!) I still can't decide if I like it better than I liked "Up" and that's saying something because I loved "Up." It was just wonderful. Seriously, go see it.

Also, Liam and I had great fun on our date. :)

4. Jamie is cutting two more teeth. He is making life burdensome on the rest of us. I'm pretty sure that even though he can't talk his thought process goes something like this: "Bitch! Fulfill my needs! NOT FAST ENOUGH, BITCH!"

Yeah. I need a sea of margaritas.

But, it seems as though one might actually be breaking through. *fingers crossed* We'll see what tomorrow brings.

5. I have one more post to write: The Great Retaining Wall Project of 2010. I promise it's coming soon!

This Is What Two Feet of Snow in 24 Hours Will Do To You

Back in February I posted about the storm damage to our house from Snowmageddon. We finally got a chance to get an insurance adjuster out to the house to look at our damage and tell us how much they'd pay to fix it. Keep in mind that we, like almost every other homeowner, have a $1000 deductible on our policy.

I showed the nice hunky inspector the damage to the flooring in the front hall. He took pictures. He took measurements so that he could estimate replacing the ENTIRE floor - powder room, entrance, and hallway - even though we only have about 2 square feet of real damage.

I then showed him the two water damaged ceiling tiles in the game room from the water seeping in along the floor joist. Again, he took measurements so that the entire drop ceiling could be replaced. By this point I'm thinking that we've left that $1000 deductible in the dust.

Then I took him outside to show him the damage to the mortar on the brick holding up the front porch. Story time! Remember the Icicles of Doom? Well, because they spent so much time dripping on the porch - on top of the mountains of snow already there - we ended up with about 6 inches of solid ice on the porch. That ice made the front stairs and porch a serious hazard and nearly impassable. We had to dump about 150 pounds of salt on the damn porch and stairs to melt it down and make it safe. Did I mention that once we melted off the ice, we had a lot less problem with the damage to the floor in the front hall? So, that ice was a double pain in the butt.

Unfortunately the salt did a number on the mortar. It's crumbling away to sand.

I showed the inspector thinking that we'd be able to get something for this little issue since it was a direct result of the storm problem. Yeah, that was wishful thinking. He was apologetic about it but apparently homeowners insurance doesn't cover mortar, foundation, cracking, spalling, etc, etc. Or, at least ours doesn't cover it. I have no idea what it will cost to fix this little gem of an issue but I have to get it dealt with.

And then next winter, I am avoiding the cheap ass rock salt like it's one of the 10 plagues of Egypt. Calcium Chloride all the way!

Hunky Inspector Dude then grabbed a ladder and hopped up on the roof to make sure we didn't have damage up there (we don't, thank goodness) and then went to write up his estimate. In the end, after they subtracted that $1000 deductible, we got a little over half of what they estimated the total cost would be. Damn sight better than a sharp stick in the eye.

So, the next task is to find someone to deal with the mortar problems as they're more pressing than anything else. We can deal with the other stuff later.

I hated being a renter but when it comes to stuff like this, it would be so nice if it didn't always have to come out of my pocket. This is the part of owning a home that sucks. Just wait until I regale you with tales of The Great Retaining Wall Project of 2010.

Please Stand By

I know I haven't been posting a lot lately but I have two or three blog posts chasing themselves around in my head. I have been pretty fried lately after the kids are in bed and trying to string my thoughts into coherent posts has been...well...problematic.

I promise to put some real time and effort into it within the next few days.

Sweet Slumber

Easter Adventures

Easter is really supposed to be about The Zombie Jesus but in our house, lapsed churchgoers that we are, Easter is about the Easter Bunny, easter eggs, candy, and easter baskets. Liam wasn't quite as excited about the Easter Bunny as he gets about Santa but he was still obnoxious about it. (Who thought it was a good idea to have another imaginary being show up overnight a mere 4 months after Santa comes? Complete pain in the ass. Amirite?)

Easter morning arrived and Liam was up before the sun. He climbed into bed with us and spent his time poking and prodding and kicking and driving us completely. insane. in a bid to get us out of bed and downstairs. After an eternity of frustration we admitted defeat and took the kids downstairs.

They were greeted with this:

Liam's response? "Boy, we didn't get much."

[facepalm]

The morning was not starting out in an auspicious fashion. We proceeded to have a discussion with him about how the Easter Bunny was not Santa and about the concept of gratitude. Unfortunately he had already found my very last nerve and started a softshoe all over it.

We spent the morning lazing around the house while the kids played with their Easter loot. I made the tactical error of leaving the baskets full of candy within reach of Jamie. Candy that had peanut butter in it. Peanut butter that he should not be eating yet because of Scot's history of nut allergies. I found him with an entire mini Reese's peanut butter cup in his mouth - wrapper and all - gnawing and slobbering on it and in general doing his darndest to reduce it to a form he could eat. I managed to extricate it from his mouth and he didn't seem to be having any trouble so I didn't worry about it.

Ten minutes later it happened again.

[facepalm]

At that point we removed all candy from within his reach.

Later in the day I managed to get the kids in their Easter outfits and in an aliens-have-snatched-my-kid-and-replaced-him-with-a-helpful-doppleganger type of moment, Liam actually let us snap some decent pictures. I think this is the first decent picture of have of my kids together. That only took 13 months.



We spent the rest of the day at Grandma and Granddad's where Liam got to go on an Easter egg hunt around the house and yard and they got to play with more Easter loot. We had a lovely dinner in which I ate waaaaaay too much then came home and threw the kids in bed. I fell into bed at 8:30. I really know how to live it up.

Happy Easter to one and all from The Dude!

What Does Your Car Say About You?

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If you didn't click on this photo, the decal on the truck reads "Redneck Foreplay: Get in the truck, Bitch!"

It's a good thing I was belted into my car because, oooh baby, I wanted to jump right into that truck and do naughty, naughty things with the driver. Never in my life have I heard a come on that worked so instantaneously. *eyeroll*

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This one actually made me giggle. I saw it on the Parkway East last weekend. It's not the best picture, but the bumper sticker reads "Really officer, I wasn't speeding, THE PEDAL WAS STUCK!" Well, that's one way to make the best of driving Toyota!