Two Kids and a Beagle

Red Belt Earned

2012-02-12T09:12:00.002-05:00

Yesterday Liam tested for his red belt. Being a red belt means new things for Liam in Tae Kwon-Do. It means that he'll move out of the class he was in and up into the more advanced class for red belts and black belts. It also means that from here on out he must break boards at each test (something he's very much looking forward to). Last, it means that he's on his last color belt before black.

As always, video of his pattern:

I also got at least one decent sparring photo:

Liam, center right

Now that he's a red belt he's on the last major leg of the road to black belt. He must earn 3 black stripes on his red belt and for each stripe he must perform 3 of the the patterns he's previously learned (1st stripe, 1st three patterns, and so on). Once he's completed that he must be a triple black stripe for 6 months before he will be eligible to test for black. Our dojang runs black belt testing twice a year in April and October. Given the timing of things it looks like he'll be testing for black sometime in April of 2013 as long as everything keeps going well.

We're very proud of how hard he's worked and how much dedication he's had.

The Many Faces of Jamie

2012-02-05T21:43:00.000-05:00

The Very Image Of A Birthday

2012-02-03T22:48:00.000-05:00

Launching Into Seven

2012-02-02T09:13:00.001-05:00

Today Liam turns seven. SEVEN. I say it every year and it is still true: how does time go by so fast?

Of course, I'm sure my own mother is sitting around thinking "how the heck did Cari get to be 35?!"

What can I say about Liam that hasn't already been said? He remains the sweet, smart, wonderful, loving and caring kid he's always been. He's also rambunctious, occasionally cantankerous, and can deploy sarcasm with deadly accuracy. He can teeter between Tough Guy one minute and Caring Sensitivity the next.

I love that he and Jamie are suddenly starting to play together and enjoy it. That's not to say that they don't annoy each other - and with Jamie entering the Terrifically Terrible Threes that happens a lot - but it's a nice change to hear them giggling together.

Over the last year he's found new depths of self-control and discipline as he continues his study of Tae Kwon-Do and entered school full time. First grade has been wonderful for him and he has really been enjoying it. His teacher makes the classroom a fun and engaging place to be which makes learning that much more exciting for Liam.

I'm so proud of the person he is becoming and I wonder how we managed it. How did all our mistakes get outweighed by whatever it was we did right? And can we continue that?

So here's to Year Seven - may it bring more happiness and joy. Happy Birthday, Liam!

On This Day In History...

2012-01-30T08:28:00.003-05:00

The year is 2005 and this is what I looked like:

I was 39 weeks pregnant and, clearly, I'm ecstatic about this fact. Three days later, Liam entered our lives.

Before we knew it, 7 years had flown past and we had this on our hands:

In three more days he'll turn 7 and I really don't think I could have gotten a more awesome kid.

Brothers In The Snow

2012-01-21T14:57:00.000-05:00

We got 6.5 inches of snow last night on top of 2 we already had so it was time for some winter fun today. It was also the first time Jamie's really had a chance to play in the snow - ever.

You guys. THEY PLAY TOGETHER NOW.

This is fun, Mom!

Wolf Boy

REALLY. THEY PLAY TOGETHER.

The Parade Marches On

2012-01-20T09:41:00.002-05:00

The parade of doctors, that is.

To review, Liam has a condition called eosinophilic esophagitis. It's poorly understood but the current thinking is that it stems from an allergic reaction and causes inflammation and other damage to the esophagus. The allergy can be food borne or environmental. We had him tested for food allergies and his tests came back negative. The standard course of treatment for EE is 6 weeks of twice a day liquid steroids by mouth - either Pulmicort or FloVent (usually asthma meds but used off label for this condition). They are short acting corticosteroids so they're not supposed to have bad side effects. But we have a family history of not tolerating steroids at all well.

The steroids made Liam fidgety - like he couldn't sit inside his own skin - and unable to sleep. Those two things combined to give us a kid riding the edge of breakdown in the 3 short days he was on the meds. When we called the doc about it she said to take him off for a week and then get back to her. We did so; he returned to normal - thank goodness because this was all leaking out in the classroom setting as well. We called the doc back on Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. Finally, I called again yesterday and left the smack down message and they called back.

Basically, the GI swears she's never seen anyone react in this manner to the meds. I think that's shoddy medicine. It's BASIC MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE that steroids do weird shit to people. They have their uses but they also have side effects. Even the short actors do and it all depends on personal body chemistry in terms of what can be tolerated and what cannot. I don't know how she made it through medical school and specialty training without knowing this. For her to claim that she's stumped by his reaction makes me want to throttle her. But, because this condition is not well understood or known, there aren't really alternative treatments. Her only suggestion was to make an appointment to see an allergist. "Go see the allergist and see if they have anything they can do." I suspect they'll start with a scratch test for environmental allergies.

I called the allergist to make an appointment and there is an 8 week wait. TWO MONTHS. We have to wait until March 19th. We've been navigating these waters since November. It took until January just to rule out Celiac and get an answer about what's really going on. Now, the GI finds herself stumped and we have to wait it out another two months before we get more information and can move forward with treatment (I hope we can move forward, that is).

I'm still stumped though. Yes, and allergist is going to understand the medications better because they prescribe them more but they way they prescribe it requires a nebulizer and that isn't the way Liam was told to take them. Furthermore, even if the allergist can pinpoint an environmental allergy what the hell do we do then? Put him on Claritin? How does that help his esophagus? I've had environmental allergies all my life and I don't see how treating those are going to help his digestive system (except to knock back whatever allergic reaction he's having - which I understand but the reaction is severe enough to cause damage, hence the need for steroids). I also don't see why we can't just change his GERD medication from Prilosec to Zantac or Pepcid. Those two medication are anti-histamines. If we're dealing with allergies + GERD, I see a two birds/one stone situation. Finally, the big question still left unanswered is "If we never identify the allergy that is the underlying cause, will this keep happening to him?"

They claim we can't ignore the condition but the meds they want to treat him with are worse than the disease. Rock, hard place, us in between.

Hodgepodge

2012-01-15T09:32:00.000-05:00

Winter has finally arrived. We have a couple of inches of snow on the ground and it's colder than a witch's tit outside. Of course, it showed up at exactly the right time to cock up my sister-in-law (and family)'s trip up here to visit this weekend so they had to cancel. We were bummed. Yet, later this week it's supposed to be in the 40's again. This winter is bipolar.
Liam is not tolerating his steroid treatment. He was on it for 3 days and it screwed up his sleep and made him fidgety and jittery - so much so that his teacher noticed it at school. It also gave him a wicked case of laryngitis. We talked to his doctor and she told us to take him off it for a week to determine how long it would take to get back to baseline and then call her back. We call on Monday (tomorrow). Frankly, I'm not sure she believed us that it was the medication making him crazy but since pulling him off it he's made a huge improvement in behavior and sleep so YES it was the steroids screwing him over.
Of course, this means that I don't know what the hell is going to happen with his treatment from here. The treatment is steroids. Period. What they're going to do with the information that he can't tolerate them? I can't predict. The one piece of good news is that the blood work on food allergies all came back normal. No food allergies. Huzzah!
Jamie is being introduced to the wonderful world of potty training. He's been walking up to me, pointing at his diaper, and telling me "wet!" or "poopy!" as appropriate. Sorry kid, if you can tell me what you did in there, you can do it in the potty instead of a diaper. So far success is limited - he'll only pay attention if he's naked from the waist down. Otherwise, there's pee in the undies. We're working on it. I'd love to see him trained (mostly) before his birthday but it took over a year to completely train Liam and I am unclear what will happen with Jamie. I think at this point I need to be more consistent with him than I have been. I'd forgotten how much I really dislike this stage but in the same breath I've been doing diapers non-stop for 7 years now and I am SICK TO DEATH OF DIAPERS.
In other Jamie news, his speech is making another leap. We're getting longer phrases that are more intelligible. The other day I got, "Brown bear, brown bear, what you see?" That's probably the longest phrase I've gotten so far. He's also started singing along with various things - as though he always knew the words but could never get them out fast enough to sing along before now. So, progress is being made.
Jamie is also FINALLY breaking his two year molars - 3 months before he turns three. Of course, all four of them are pushing through at once making him extra special miserable. Two of them have poked the points through, two are just painful lumps, and all of them have the large flat surface of the tooth to break through. Teething and potty training and speech advancements - that's Jamie lately.
As for the adults in the house - well, we just keep plugging. We got an impromptu night out at Piper's Pub last week that was quite welcome. Otherwise, it's life as normal. Work, childcare, housework, dog care, etc etc etc.

Gee, Thanks

2012-01-06T22:43:00.000-05:00

Driving home from getting Liam's blood draw today, we could see the outline of the moon in the afternoon sky.

"Hey Liam - look at the moon!"

"Cool! How come it's up, Mom?"

"Well, sweetie, I'm not entirely sure about that. You could ask Daddy, though, since he knows more about astronomy. I'm going to guess that the moon is always there we just can't always see it when it's light out."

There was a bit of a pause from the back seat. Then...

"I'm not saying you're dumb, Mom, it's just that Daddy is smarter that you are. I'm just saying."

Well then. Glad I wasted 4.5 years getting a college degree. It's amazing I can mange to drive a car and work that laundry gizmo in the basement. I think I'll get myself a helmet to wear on a permanent basis. Ya know, because I'm not too careful being not as smart as Daddy and all that.

I suppose he could have told me my butt was too big, but somehow that seems like it might not have been so bad.

GOOD. NEWS.

2012-01-04T20:13:00.000-05:00

We got a call from Liam's gastroenterologist this evening and guess what? HE DOESN'T HAVE CELIAC.

*deep sigh of relief*

However, he does have a condition called eosinophilic esophagitis. If you click on the link, you'll get a run down of what this condition is and how it's treated. It's not a very well understood disease and it seems as if treatment is constantly evolving (I say that because everything I read says something different).

Anyway, the short explanation is that the root cause (they think) is some kind of allergy. That allergy can be food borne or environmental so pinning down the underlying issue is often impossible. The doctor said that 75% of her patients that have this disorder never pin down the allergy. However, we are going to be doing some blood tests to check for common food allergies just to see if something does pop up.

In the meantime, we can still treat the issue. He'll remain on the Prilosec that has been making such a difference for him and we'll be starting a 6 week course of short-acting steroids. I wasn't initially happy about this because steroids? Not great for bone development. But this isn't cortizone or prednisone. He'll be on something like FloVent or Pulmicort and those drugs are much shorter acting and therefore don't have the same side effects. They are such short actors that he's not allowed to eat or drink for 60 min. following each dose because if he does he'll inactivate the meds. The steroids will bring swelling down and allow the tissues of his esophagus to heal.

After he completes the course of steroids, we'll go back to the gastroenterologist for a follow up appointment to discuss how Liam is doing and if there are further steps to be taken.

I'm not jumping up and down excited that he has this. Chances are good that we won't be able to determine what caused this in the first place and if we don't - does that mean it'll keep happening? I worry about that. In the same breath, it's not Celiac. It's not an autoimmune disorder. It could be so much worse and leave him open for so many other diseases. This? This I can deal with.

A Very Lego Christmas

2011-12-31T08:00:00.000-05:00

Liam got a lot of Legos for Christmas this year. Not only did he get his beloved Ninjago Fire Temple from Santa but he also received a Star Wars Venator Class Star Destroyer (pay no attention to the price; we didn't pay that) and a Star Wars ARC-170 Starfighter.

While the starfighter was a reasonable number of pieces and something he was able to build with only a small bit of help from us, the Fire Temple and the star destoryer were 1174 pieces and 1170 pieces, respectively.

That's a lot of Legos.

He decided to tackle the starfighter first and after that was done, he dug into the star destroyer. You guys. HOLY. CRAP.

Many larger Lego sets come with the pieces apportioned into bags and each of those bags is numbered so that you can open the first bag, use those pieces to build as you follow the directions, then open the second bag when instructed and so on and so forth. Not so with the star destroyer.

Oh no. It had at least 10 bags and no numbers so guess what we had to do? Open every single bag and sort all 1170 pieces before building could even begin.

It takes up fully half of the table.

Ignore the disgusting chandelier. If you look to the left, that's the starfighter he built first.

Liam started building the star destroyer on his own but it was a complicated item to build. It folds open so that you can play inside the ship with the included mini figures. It has a shuttle that is removable. It has a bomb bay that drops little Lego bombs when you turn a mechanism.

So, Liam needed some help.

Building with Dad

When Dad needed to take a break, Liam worked on his own. When he needed some more help, I pitched in and helped build. In the end, we finished the piece a couple of hours before more company was due to arrive - which was good because I needed my table back!

The finished ship

The next day he wanted to tackle the Ninjago Fire Temple. This time when we opened the box there were numbered bags. Huzzah!! So, Liam sat down with the directions and a pair of scissors to open bags with and started building.

Two to three hours and 1174 pieces later (and with no help from anyone) he had a completed Fire Temple.

Now I just have to convince him to clean up his damn room so that the Legos can go THERE.

Christmas Joy

2011-12-30T20:08:00.002-05:00

Christmas was magical this year.

This year, Jamie was old enough to really get the whole concept of Santa and opening presents - he could get into the wonder of it all. Also, he was not sick for Christmas this year - which is an immediate improvement over last year.

Liam, of course, loves Christmas and was practically vibrating through the walls on Christmas Eve. That was Scot's birthday and we had to keep reminding him that while the next day was Christmas, right then it was DADDY'S BIRTHDAY.

Leaving cookies for Santa

I don't have a picture of the stockings or the tree or all the presents because I was having too much fun with the kids. We came downstairs Christmas morning and they were so excited. Santa brought stuffed Totoros (thanks to his sneaky elf helpers, Trista and Dan) and they both loved them. It's been Jamie's favorite pillow ever since.

For the first time ever, Liam told Santa what he wanted for Christmas. He asked Santa for the Lego Ninjago Fire Temple. After shunting one of his larger gifts over to his birthday pile (in February), Santa was able to bring the Fire Temple. The pictures say it all.

One happy Spud

Jamie enjoyed stocking gifts as well - his favorites being Totoro and the chocolate candy.

After stockings it was time to make breakfast. After discovering them last year, I again made individual Monkey Breads for breakfast. OM NOM NOM.

Seriously, folks, these are heaven in a ramekin.

After breakfast we got down the big gifting. The kids were spoiled by one and all. Scot spoiled me rotten and bought me a Kindle Fire as well as a new lens for my camera. It was also a very kitchen-y Christmas as I received (from various generous family members) some new fun baking accoutrements, a panini press, and spices.

More Legos for Liam - clearly he doesn't mind.

One of Jamie's favorite presents - no more high chair!

It was also a very book-y Christmas. Books, books, and more books! For everyone!

Scot's parents joined us in the afternoon for round two of gifting. Jamie was napping when they got here so we let Liam open his presents first so he wouldn't die from antici. . . pation.

Grandma and Granddad were very generous.

The contents of the large red bag.

After Liam was done the adults exchanged gifts and when Jamie got up he got to open his stack. And then, finally, we were done with presents and could move on to playing with our toys and eating dinner.

We had NY strips for Christmas dinner. As well as risotto, fresh steamed broccoli, salad, rolls, and cranberry orange tart for dessert. We were tired of the same old roasts so we did something different this year. It was delicious.

I ended the day content, happy, and NOT completely exhausted. The boys had a blast, we enjoyed all of their excitement and joy and Christmas felt like a holiday instead of a chore this year.

I hope your holiday was merry and bright!

Happy Holidays!

2011-12-24T15:24:00.000-05:00

Wishing you a joyous and merry Christmas and love and happiness in the New Year!

HO HO HO!

2011-12-22T17:18:00.001-05:00

Ten Percent

2011-12-21T19:47:00.000-05:00

For all intents and purposes, I have lost 10% of my body weight. When I say "for all intents and purposes" it's because the scale is being bitchy. I weighed myself before I left for my meeting and I was at my 10% goal weight exactly. I got to meeting and I weighed in just 0.1 pounds over. So, technically, according to Weight Watchers, I'm not quite there yet.

But then I came home and weighed myself again on my (weight watchers) scale and it said I was 0.3 pounds below my 10% goal weight.

So, yeah. Given the vagaries of scales, I think I can say that I did it.

That means I've lost a total of 18 lbs since I started in March. Frankly, I'm a little ashamed it's taken me so long to get this far and the last couple of months have been a bitch where weight loss is concerned. But I finally got here and that's nothing to sneeze at.

I fit into smaller clothes now. Clothes that were but a pipe dream hanging in my closet - the reminder of how much smaller I used to be before Jamie came along - are now beginning to fit again. Not everything but some of them. Some things are too big for me to wear now. I shop for new clothes in my closet instead of at Target.

And then there's the photographic proof, which really shows me how far I've come.

Here I am the day I signed up for Weight Watchers:

And here is a picture I took of myself this morning when I put on clothes that didn't fit a month ago:

I'm not done yet. I still have 15 lbs to go to get to my goal weight and if the last several months are any indication, it's not going to be especially easy to get there. But I made it this far, I'm over halfway to my goal weight, and I'm not giving up now.

Word Search

2011-12-15T19:51:00.004-05:00

Liam has a new business venture.

I came upon him the other day with a notebook and pencil and I asked what he was working on.

"I'm doing a word search, Mom."

I peeked over his shoulder to discover that he was creating his own word search. The notebook was one that had graph paper in it and he had set aside a block of squares in which to make his word search. Then, down the margin of one side, he wrote the words to look for in the box.

He worked on this slowly over a number of days and in that time developed his business plan. He would print up more of them and sell them at school. So far, this has not materialized but hey, he's got a plan. Hopefully this will help finance his move when he turns 10.

Wordless Wednesday: Decorating The Tree

2011-12-14T22:12:00.000-05:00

More News On The Celiac Front

2011-12-14T13:23:00.000-05:00

On Monday we took Liam to see the gastroenterologist regarding his test results and symptoms. I didn't expect for there to be much forward progress at this appointment but I was looking forward to talking things over with someone more versed in these issues.

I love the doctor we saw. She was really, really wonderful and saw Liam as a whole person and not just a cluster of symptoms.

The upshot is that we're still on the fence about Celiac.

It comes down to this: Celiac is a microscopic diagnosis and the blood tests can be decent predictors but they're not definitive. The only way to be definitive is to do an upper endoscopy and take some biopsy samples. This is what the doctor recommended and what I expected to hear from her.

What I didn't expect was that she has her doubts about the blood work. While his symptoms do fit a Celiac profile, there are some things that don't quite fit. His abdominal pain, for one thing, is quite high - just under the sternum - and not lower down at all - especially now that we've increased the fiber in his diet and alleviated much of his issues with constipation. For another, I think she was a little surprised that he's not having diarrhea problems.

Third, the blood panel they did on him tested for three values. One was positive, two were negative. According to the doctor, one of the ones that was negative is a better Celiac predictor than the one that was positive. There's wiggle room here.

So, while she wants to do the scope to find out exactly what's happening and get the definitive yes/no on Celiac, she also prescribed Prilosec for him. Given his history of infant reflux and the nature of his pain, she thought it was worth a try. If it worked and gave him some relief that was a good thing. If not - well, at least we tried.

We came home Monday night and gave him his first dose and he did fine with it. Last night he had pasta for dinner. He quickly ate the fairly generous portion I served him and then asked for more. He hasn't asked for second helpings of anything in months. So, I gave him the rest of what I had - which was about equivalent to his first helping. He finished that, too. He also ate all of his applesauce. Then, he went to Tae Kwon-do and immediately upon arriving home said, "I'm hungry!" Before bed he got his second dose of Prilosec.

This morning he ate breakfast with no problems, no dwaddling, no begging from me for him to finish. As he was eating I said, "It seems like you've been hungrier since you started your new medicine. Is it helping you feel better?" He said, "Yeah, and my hunger is going up and up."

Could his weight loss have been due to not eating because of acid reflux?

Frankly, I feel really dumb not figuring this out for myself. I have lost count of the number of times my kids have seen doctors because of some weird symptoms that turned out to be reflux and DUH! I know how to deal with that. It's just that if one of my kids was going to have long term issues with this, I fully expected it to be Jamie because he was so much worse as an infant than Liam was.

This is not to say that we are out of the woods on Celiac yet, though. It's still possible that he has it and it's possible that he has both the reflux AND the Celiac pulling a double whammy on him. We won't know for sure until the endoscopy results come back. His procedure has been scheduled for the week between Christmas and New Year's when he's off school. I suspect we won't have the results back until after the first of the year.

Until then, if the kid wants to eat me out of house and home, I'll gladly allow it.

Red Stripe!

2011-12-11T07:54:00.001-05:00

No, not the beer.

Liam tested yesterday for his red stripe on his blue belt. It was sort of a formality given that he took a bronze in tournament with this same pattern a month ago. Needless to say, he passed with flying colors. BUT! I got lucky this time out. There were only three kids testing for red stripe and Liam was the closest to me so I got great video of his pattern. So, here it is!

He did a great job. Now, it's on to his red belt and the last new pattern he will learn for a long time. Once he earns his red belt he must earn three black stripes before he can test for black belt and for each of those stripes he must perform three of the 9 previous patterns he's learned. Come February (when he tests for red) he's going to be doing a lot of review of patterns.

Keep it up the great work, kiddo!

Hodgepodge

2011-12-06T20:05:00.001-05:00

It took me a little over a week but I'm finally at a place where I feel like I can deal with Liam having Celiac. I know we have some rough waters to navigate but I'm feeling like we can handle them. Most importantly, I feel like I can be there for Liam as he begins to process what all of this will mean (we have not yet told him - see the next bullet point) and that I can be honest with him with whatever questions he asks. I'm not going to cry at the drop of a hat anymore, I'm going to be strong and confident - which I hope will instill in him a confidence in our ability to deal with this as a family.

We have not yet told Liam that we suspect he has Celiac or what that means. We've told him that he has to go see another doctor so we can get more information but we haven't said anything beyond that. We want to see what we can find out from the doctor before we have that difficult discussion with him. Once we know enough to answer all his questions, we will make full disclosure to him about what's happening. We see the specialist on the 12th and I'm hoping to know more about our next steps after that appointment. Liam is a worrier and there's no point in leaving him worried and anxious when we can't calm those anxieties.

Christmas is under way! We've completed the shopping but I still have all the wrapping and sending to do. I also need to decorate the house but I have plans to get that started on Thursday. I've designed, had printed, then addressed and mailed all our Christmas cards - earliest I've managed to do it yet. Jamie has learned to say Santa and points him out with glee every time he sees him. I'm hoping Christmas will be full of magic this year.

I'm a big old failure at the diet lately. When the call came about Liam I basically spent about a week eating my feelings (some more cheez-its? Don't mind if I do...) and between that and Thanksgiving, I put on three pounds. This is especially annoying because I'd plateaued and was just beginning to break through the wall when I got derailed. So, I gained 3 pounds that were pretty damn hard to lose in the first place. The climb back onto the wagon was akin to scaling Everest but I think I've managed to do it. Now all I have to do is stay here. Weigh-in tomorrow should be so much fun. Except not.

Wordless Wednesday: CHEESE!

2011-11-30T19:44:00.001-05:00

Christmas Outtakes 2: Electric Boogaloo

2011-11-28T09:27:00.001-05:00

I got to playing around with one of the pictures last night and this is what resulted. These kids have to learn not to give me this kind of fodder.

Christmas Outtakes

2011-11-27T16:05:00.001-05:00

It's that time again - time to hustle the children into their Christmas finery, schlep them down to Phipps, and try to get some passable shots of them for use on the Christmas cards. It was an especially futile attempt this year. Out of over 100 shots, I got about 5 usable ones. Four, if you ask Scot because he didn't want to be on the card.

The outtakes, on the other hand, are glorious.

We begin with Liam. I love the kid but he's in that stage where he simply CANNOT smile naturally unless you make him laugh. Making him laugh was simply not on the agenda today so I have a lot of pictures like this:

With that lack of upper lip, I should rename him Frank Burns.

If you didn't get that joke, get off my lawn.

I actually don't have many outtakes of Jamie by himself because they're all blurry. He would run away from the camera. I did get a couple of decent close ups of him (though mostly profile) that are being used on the Christmas card, however.

Moving on to the group shots...

This was the best I got all day. Clearly, they're thrilled. It was all downhill after this.

"ALL DONE!"

"Again? We have to do this again?"

Liam is looking at the ceiling and Jamie smells something bad.

Passable one of Spud. Jamie disapproves. Of everything.

Jamie seems to have misplaced his neck.

I have no idea what's going on with Liam here.

I can't imagine what these two are going to come up with next year.

UPDATE: I forgot to leave you with this sign from Phipps.

Worried and Scared

2011-11-23T20:22:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure I'm going to click "publish" on this post but I can't keep myself from feeling the need to write it out so write it out I will. If I do hit publish and you feel the need to comment that I'm just a whiny whinerton who needs to shut up unless she has real problems, you can just skip right over to some other place on the internet. I don't need that today.

Today may go down as the day that changed our family. I know that sounds melodramatic and ridiculous but it's how I feel right now. I'll admit up front that I'm upset and a scared and feeling a large dose of panic about this so that undoubtedly makes this all seem worse.

To explain, let me go back a bit. Liam has been having some troubles off and on for a few months that finally led us to take him to the doctor. They were mostly gastro-intestinal issues so I'm not going to get graphic about it. When Scot took him to the doc, they weighed him and he'd lost two pounds.

That's a big deal for Liam - a very, very big deal. Liam is almost 7 years old and he now weighs 44 pounds. He's very skinny and also a bit short for his age. Much of this is due to his genetics but the fact remains that he gains weight excruciatingly slowly and cannot afford to lose any of it, much less two pounds. It is not unusual for Liam to spend an entire year gaining that much weight.

When Scot discussed all of the seemingly disparate symptoms with our pediatrician they decided to run some blood tests on Liam and get an abdominal x-ray. I wasn't able to be at the appointment so when Scot called to tell me what was going on, I got upset. I thought it was a simple matter to deal with (hey! my kid's butt won't stop itching!) and instead they walked out needing diagnostic tests.

One of the blood panels they ran was to rule out Celiac Disease. Our pediatrician basically said that he didn't think this was really Liam's problem but better to run everything at once rather than have to take him back for a second stick later. We figured that if anything came back wonky, it would be his iron level.

His abdominal x-ray was normal. We found that out the same day they did it. Today I got the call about the blood work and one of his numbers on the Celiac panel was elevated. To give you an idea, the number should be below 20 for a negative result for Celiac. 20-30 is a weak positive. Above 30 is a stronger positive. Liam's number was 31. The other measurement on the Celiac panel was normal.

What does this mean? It means more tests. It means a specialist. It means more investigation. It's possible, given his fence-sitting results, that he does NOT have Celiac. It's also very possible that he does.

Now, Celiac has been getting a lot of attention recently as diagnoses are on the rise - not because incidence is increasing but because doctors are getting better at recognizing the symptoms. So, it's possible you've heard that the 'cure' (not really, it doesn't go away) for the disease is a gluten-free diet.

Great, you say. What's your beef? Why are you freaking? Feed him different food and he'll be fine. If you have to deal with an auto-immune disorder, it's best if it's Celiac since it's treated by dietary changes. You're golden!

Except we're talking about a 6 year old kid with food issues. He is a supremely picky eater whose favorite food is PASTA of all things. We've had dozens of conversations with Liam about the state of his eating habits and he always says "OK, Mommy" and promises to try new things. Then, when push comes to shove, he can't do it and he's puking up corn (or whatever else we've asked him to try). Part of my panic is about the very real possibility that World War III is about to erupt in my household over dietary changes.

Celiac is still an auto-immune disorder, 'good' one or not. And that means he'll have increased risk for a lot of other potentially awful things. Doing some basic reading up on it today left me breathless and in tears. I'm scared for my kid.

People with celiac disease are more likely to have:
Autoimmune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis, systemic lupus erythematosus, and Sjogren syndrome
Addison's disease
Down syndrome
Intestinal cancer
Intestinal lymphoma
Lactose intolerance
Thyroid disease
Type 1 diabetes

Source

Gluten-free means huge added expenses to our grocery bills. It means absolute vigilance about everything he puts in his mouth. It means he'll never be able to eat the sweet treats his classmates bring in for birthdays or that are a part of class parties. It means the family recipes that I've long treasured and enjoyed baking with him will no longer be safe for him to eat. I'm sad about the loss of those things.

I'm scared and worried about navigating the enormous amount of upheaval this will cause in our lives. Of couse I believe that we can get through it and figure it out. Of course I know that we have doctors and professionals and the internet to help us through. But, for now - just for today, I feel overwhelmed.

One Small Gesture

2011-11-23T09:01:00.000-05:00

It's been one hell of a week in this house. Three of the four of us were sick with a nasty cold and Scot was diagnosed with a cracked rib. Of course, they only discovered that after 2 ER visits, 2 doctor visits, multiple chest x-rays, blood tests, and a CT scan. But I digress.

So, yeah, it's been a long rotten week (hence the lack of blogging - when I blog and I'm cranky I get comments about how if that's all I have to bitch about I should shut up. So I don't blog when I'm cranky). We've been muddling through as best we can but Scot was having a really hard time - mostly because he felt like he couldn't breathe - and wasn't really able to do much more than lay in bed and try to catch his breath.

Liam, sensitive kid that he is, picked up on all this and presented Scot with this note two nights ago:

" Dad I will love you forever.

I really {love} Dad.

You are the best Dad ever.

You are great.

I love you lots and lots.

You are the best Dad ever."

One little note and life doesn't seem so tough anymore.

Wherein I Discuss That Thing

2011-11-15T18:26:00.000-05:00

That Thing that happened at Penn State.

So, you know, I would completely understand if you skipped it.

I've wondered whether I should even write about it but I have so much rage about this. So much. No, I didn't go to Penn State. No, I didn't grow up in Pennsylvania. No, I don't understand the worship of Joe Paterno. I acknowledge that I will see this situation somewhat differently than those who have but I did graduate from a Big Ten university with a large football program - a university that gave out far more athletic scholarships than it ever dreamed of giving to the smarty pants academics.

So I do kind of get it.

And then I consider all the things that had to happen, all the people who turned away and shut their eyes and mouths, and I stop being able to understand at all.

That's when the rage hits.

I don't care how many games of whatever sport you've won. I don't care what good you've done through charities. I don't care if the man you see doing terrible things to children is someone you respect or even love. I don't care if you think you have a university's reputation to protect.

The very last thing any adult should be thinking about in this situation is any of those things. The second that they do, the victim and what happened to them gets lost and they learn a terrible lesson. They learn that adults can't be trusted, adults won't help them, and, even worse, that they are somehow not WORTH anyone's help.

THAT is the tragedy in this situation. Not job loss, not reputations ruined. It's children forever damaged while people sat back and pretended it wasn't happening. How would any of the people involved in perpetrating this horror feel if it was their child so horribly damaged? I do not understand how any of these people can look themselves in the face and justify their actions or inactions. How does the one eyewitness in the case look at his 2 year old daughter and find a way to live with what he didn't do? It is simply incomprehensible to me and then I just want to see all of them get everything the law says they deserve.

But more than anything else I think about the victims and I hope and pray that they have found some kind of healing and peace. I hope that they know that they are, and were, worth someone's help and worth far more than any sports program or reputation. I hope they know that it was never their fault.

Proud

2011-11-12T13:55:00.000-05:00

Liam has been a student of Tae Kwon-Do for a year and a half now. In that time he has gone from a clumsy, awkward white belt to a blue belt with control, balance, and a certain grace. I am immensely proud of all he has accomplished through his hard work.

Today he participated in his very first tournament and he did so very well. This was an inter-school tournament that included all 9 of Grandmaster Kong's dojangs. So, there were a lot of kids there that Liam has never met, never sparred against, never seen their skills.

This was only half of the gym full of kids

Liam competed in patterns and sparring. They also had categories for breaking but as he hasn't done that yet, we didn't sign him up for that.

First, he did his pattern. This is the same pattern he will do next month when he tests for his red stripe. I apologize for the camera work - we were in the bleachers with lots of other people.

When all of the kids in his group had demonstrated their pattern and been scored, they awarded medals and certificates. They gave a gold, silver, and bronze medal to the top three kids and certificates to the others.

Liam won a bronze!

Look! I got a medal!

These aren't chintzy participation medals either. They're heavy and large with emblems on both sides.

After the patterns were finished, they moved onto sparring. Liam sparred twice, losing the first bout but winning the second. The bout he won was against a red belt.

Liam is on the right.

Liam on the left, facing the camera.

And he medaled again! He won another bronze for his sparring.

Getting his medal (Liam second from left)

Grinning from ear to ear

He's worked very hard over the last year and a half and this is such a marvelous validation of all that hard work. He earned those medals. We couldn't be more proud of him. More importantly, he couldn't be more proud of himself.

Brothers

2011-11-08T22:40:00.002-05:00

My kids are four years apart. We planned it that way and for the most part it has worked out. But the age difference has made the sibling relationship a bit fraught from time to time. Liam gets bossy, Jamie gets grabby, there are unkind words.

They're brothers, I expect this.

But every now and then I see sweet gestures between the two. Liam will play games with Jamie and I'll hear gales of laughter, usually while wrestling with each other.

This morning, Jamie melted my heart.

Liam was having a rough morning. Time change is kicking his butt. He woke up cranky and difficult, telling me he wouldn't go to school and with raging attitude. I was working through all of this with him, trying to coax him through morning routine without it becoming a battle, when he complained that his back hurt.

Given that he was sitting on the hard kitchen floor scrunched up against the island this was hardly surprising.

Jamie was hanging around while all of this was going on and he ran off at this point; I assumed he was going to go poke around in the freezer and then shove some breakfast item in my face to fix for him.

Instead, while I was continuing to talk to Liam, he came back with one of our kiddie ice packs from the freezer. We call it "cold Nemo" because it looks like a clownfish and has gel inside so you can freeze the whole thing but have a flexible cold pack. Anyway, he came running back with cold Nemo and put it on his brother's back.

My tank of a two year old, who is made of all ego and rarely thinks beyond himself (he's two!) heard Liam say his back hurt and ran off to get something to help.

Melted puddle on the floor.

I hope, as they get older, they find more and more common ground.

Cookies, Cookies, And More Cookies

2011-11-04T18:30:00.000-04:00

Every year around this time, Michelle, who blogs at The Burghbaby, hosts a cookie swap and invites all the local parents who are active on blogs and twitter. It's sort of the unofficial start to the Christmas season of gorging oneself on sweets galore. I've never been able to make it but I always hear reports of how much fun the event is.

This year, we're finally going to be able to attend. Yahoo!

So, for the last couple of days I've been baking up a storm. The basic premise is that you show up with 6 dozen cookies and you leave with 6 dozen different cookies. The only problem is that when someone asks me to bake, things often get out of hand.

I knew I wanted to make more than one variety of cookies and when I sat down to choose I settled on four recipes - 3 types of cookies and one type of Rice Krispies treat. Unfortunately, I didn't pay close attention to how large these recipes were and I ended up with eighteen dozen baked treats in my house by the end of the day today.

Oh dear. I don't think Michelle is going to be very happy with me.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you the recipes I made.

Ma Richmond's Shortbread

14 oz. room temperature butter

1/4 c. Crisco

1 c. firmly packed powdered sugar

6 c. flour

Preheat oven to 325 degrees and line baking sheets with brown paper.

Cream together butter, crisco, and sugar. Add flour a little bit at a time. Dough should be slightly crumbly. Turn dough out on a flat surface and work by hand until it reaches a uniform, well mixed consistency. Divide dough into sixths. Roll out each sixth into a 1/2 inch thick circle. Using fingertips, press dimples into the edge. Cut into 8 wedges. Repeat with remaining sixths.

Bake on brown paper until outside edges begin to get golden brown, approximately 30 minutes. Cool on a cooling rack and dust with powdered sugar when completely cool.

Molasses Cookies (aka Ginger Snaps)

1 1/2 c. Crisco

2 c. sugar

1/2 c. molasses

2 eggs

4 c. sifted flour

4 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. cloves

1 tsp. ginger

2 tsp. cinnamon

1 tsp. salt

Melt shortening in a pot on the stove. Cool. In a mixer, add sugar, molasses, cooled and melted Crisco, and eggs. Beat well. Add sifted dry ingredients. Mix well. Chill dough. (I chilled it overnight). Form into one-inch balls and roll in sugar.

Bake at 350 degrees on ungreased baking sheet 8 to 10 minutes.

Old Time Cinnamon Jumbles

1/4 c. Crisco

1/4 c. softened butter

1 c. sugar

1 egg

3/4 c. buttermilk

1 tsp. vanilla

2 c. sifted flour

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

cinnamon sugar

Cream butter, crisco, and sugar in a mixer. Stir in buttermilk and vanilla. Sift together dry ingredients and add. Mix well. Chill dough 45-60 min. Drop rounded teaspoonfuls about 2 inches apart on a lightly greased baking sheet. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar. Bake until set but not brown at 400 degrees for 7 to 10 minutes.

To lightly grease the pan, I sprayed with Pam and wiped with a paper towel. If you don't wipe the pan after you spray it, the cookies will spread. These cookies are like a soft, cakey snickerdoodle.

Peanut Butter Butterscotch Rice Krispie Treats

1 c. chunky peanut butter

1 c. sugar

1 c. light Karo syrup

6 c. Rice Krispies

1 (10 oz) bag butterscotch chips

In a sauce pan, heat together peanut butter, sugar, and karo syrup; do not boil. Measure Rice Krispies into a large bowl. When the hot mixture is melted together, pour over cereal. Stir until coated and spread in a 9x13 inch baking dish. Top with the butterscotch chips. Heat in a warm oven (~ 200 degrees) until the chips are soft enough to spread. Spread the melted chips evenly over the top. Cool completely and cut into squares.

These are so good we call them 'crack' around here.

Last, but not least, this is what 18 dozen baked goodies looks like:

Wordless Wednesday: One More Time With The Pretty Fall Colors

2011-11-02T08:54:00.002-04:00

Halloween 2011

2011-10-31T20:05:00.002-04:00

Such a boring title, I know, but accurate.

Halloween weekend kicked off this year when we woke up to this Saturday morning:

Yes, friends, it snowed BEFORE Halloween. I haven't seen this since I moved out of Michigan 10 years ago. I cordially invite Mother Nature to bite me.

Since it was disgusting outside that day we stayed in and I did the Great Toy Purge of 2011. We had a lot of junk in this house that was either trash or could be donated. I sorted through ALL the toys and did a major toss of junk, amassed a huge heap of donateable toys, and rearranged the kids' rooms. Liam, in particular, was completely ruthless with the divesting of junk. Good use of a nasty snowy day in late October. We still have a lot of junk in this house but they're not junk toys at least.

Sunday morning we took the kids to Coffee Buddha (a local coffee shop) who was having Halloween specials all day, costumes encouraged. Liam wore his Jedi costume and brought a light saber but Jamie was having NONE of that business.

I'd rather lay on the coffee shop floor and read Vonnegut, Mom.

We met up with some friends while we were there and had a really nice time chatting, drinking coffee, and herding our kids. Thanks, Coffee Buddha!

Today was The Big Day. Liam had his Halloween parade and party at school - according to reports, everything was very fun - and then we had trick-or-treating this evening. The weather was decent most of the day today, gray but not frigid, and precisely at 6 pm it began to rain in earnest.

Oh joy.

But, we made the best of it anyway.

I really wanted to carve those pumpkins this year but my schedule is a harsh mistress and I simply ran out of time. Luckily, Granddad had bought the kids kits to decorate pumpkins with and there was plenty for everyone to choose from. Next year. Next year I'll carve, dammit.

Jamie: Curious George

Liam: A Star Wars Bounty Hunter named Pre Vizsla

Liam's costume came with a helmet and toy guns but he chose to leave those behind at the house in an effort to streamline the candy acquisition process. Good thought, as it was raining and gross out. The quicker we got through trick-or-treating, the drier we would be.

Jamie was the polar opposite of his brother at this age. Liam was completely uninterested in trick-or-treating when he was 2. It was like pulling teeth to get him to go out and we just gave up. Jamie? He practically tripped over those floppy George feet while trying to keep up with the big kids. He dug the whole concept. He learned how to say "Trick or Treat!" and when I reminded him to say thank you, he blew kisses. I kept asking him if he was getting tired and wanted to go home and every time I asked he responded with a growled "NO!"

It was Liam who finally said that he had enough candy and was ready to go home. We hit a lot fewer houses than I expected but he was happy so I wasn't going to complain about it. It was getting wetter by the minute. So, we headed home, got the kids undressed, let them have some candy and then chucked them into bed.

The aftermath. Jamie's costume came home DISGUSTING.

Happy Halloween to one an all!

Ew, Ew, EW!

2011-10-29T21:04:00.000-04:00

"What is that on the back of your head, Liam? Is that some kind of skin tag or something?"

We were sitting at dinner and Scot noticed this on the back of Liam's head. Scot looked at me.

"Honey, did you know about this skin tag?"

I got up to go take a look, "What skin tag?"

He pulled up the hair on the back of Liam's head, I got a quick glimpse, and nearly jumped out of my skin.

"That's not a skin tag, that's A TICK!" I shrieked. Then I started doing the I'm-so-skeeved-out-I-can't-sit-still dance.

We didn't have a clue how to get the damn thing off his head without leaving behind bug parts, we didn't know how long it had been there (best guess: 4 days), and we didn't know if there was any sort of medication protocol in these instances.

So, off we whisked him to Urgent Care to let the experts deal with it. Which they did in very short order, told us he didn't need meds but to watch him for the next several weeks, and then sent us on our way.

No fuss, no muss. For them, at least.

My skin is still crawling.

Stress!

2011-10-24T12:35:00.001-04:00

I mentioned that last week was the week from hell and I wasn't lying. I don't think I've looked forward to a Monday morning more than I looked forward to this one.

It started last Sunday night when Scot was hit very fast and very hard with the worst migraine of his life. He has had problems with migraines for several years now and the short explanation is that he's been to many doctors, tried many treatments (most of which are a serious problem for him), and come out the other side no better than when he started. His headache Sunday night was a bad one and despite all medications we had to treat it at home, it was not going away. He ended up going to the ER to have it treated.

As ER trips go, it was fairly low stress. They gave him with the medications we know will work, broke the headache and sent him on his way. Not such a bit deal, really. (I'm sure you're wondering how a 'low-stress' ER visit figures into this story of ongoing stress. Stay with me.)

Monday he worked from home because the medications he'd been given combined with the severity of the headache left him feeling pretty hung-over. This is how it came to be that he was home in the afternoon.

Now, Scot had a procedure of a personal nature about 3 weeks ago. It went fine. On Monday afternoon, I was herding Liam through the process of getting ready to go to TKD when I heard a high-pitched yelp. I actually thought it was Liam from another room but when I looked up Liam was right there. However, Jamie had been upstairs with Scot.

Oh no.

Scot took an injury of a personal nature courtesy of Jamie's knee. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay around to chat because I had to take Liam to TKD. While I was at the dojang, Scot and I were exchanging text messages and then phone calls about the situation. The upshot was that he was in enough pain that he had to be seen by a doctor, it was after hours, and the doctor that did the procedure told him to go to the ER.

The same ER he'd been at just 24 hours before.

This time I went with him. We made emergency arrangements for childcare (Thank you, Ann!) and when I got home with Liam from TKD, I shoved down some dinner and then took Scot to the ER. It was not as painless a visit as the night before but he did get the same attending. Also, the nurse thought I was Scot's daughter, not his wife. Considering this injury, this was both funny and weird.

Luckily, there didn't appear to be any damage done so he was sent home with painkillers and told to take it easy. And to stay away from the toddler's knee.

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were fairly normal if hectic. As usual, I had a crap ton to do and not enough time to do it in. This is nothing new.

Friday night was the kicker. That night just about did me in.

We got to the end of the day and it was time to start bath/bedtime routine. I took the kids upstairs to and convinced them to get in the tub together to save me extra work. Meanwhile, Scot and I kept saying "who farted?" and "what's that smell?" and "is Jamie's diaper dirty?" I got the kids in the tub and ran down to the basement to check things out. Hit the furnace/laundry room.

GAS!

I went running for the stairs, yell at Scot to call his parents so we can get the kids out, shut off the furnace, and go running for the bathroom to bathe the kids, get them out, and get them dressed. Scot calls his parents then calls the fire department. Smart man, because I was all "BUG OUT! BUG OUT! MASH 4077, BUG OUT!"

So, he goes to wait outside for the nice burly firemen to show up while I run around like a crazy person getting Jamie dressed (Liam can dress himself), gathering toiletries, clothes, pillows, blankies, and stuffed animals and throwing it all together in an overnight bag. All the while I'm wondering "What the hell are we going to do with the dog?!"

By this time the firemen have arrived (who, by the way showed up with the lights and trucks and whatnot - Jamie was FASCINATED as, I'm sure, were the neighbors) so I can't get out of my driveway. I went down to check on things and find out if I needed to whisk the kids away. Guess what? IT'S POO GAS. Yep, a back burp of sewer gas from the main house drain.

Yes, go ahead. I'm laughing at myself, too.

But, you know, just to be safe, the burly firemen are running around with their little gas reading equipment. There were no leaks on the furnace - good, it's practically brand new - but he stuck the meter in the dryer, turned the dryer on and that meter lit up like a damn Christmas tree. Gas leak in or around the dryer.

They shut off the gas supply to the dryer and I had to call a repairman today (they are coming out tomorrow). Meanwhile, the 6 year old was freaking out that it's not safe in the house and the 2 yr old was shrieking about all the "SHRUCKS!" in front of the house.

It was A Night and almost immediately upon getting the kids calmed down and in bed the phone rang. It was the neighbors wanting to know what the hell was going on. Oh joy.

The weekend was crisis-free but not aggravation free. Everyone was on everyone else's nerves and we were all cranky. Not even a couple of family outings seemed to soothe our savageness.

So here it is, the start of a brand-new week, and I am praying that it will be calmer and that I will be able to get all of my domestic chores done without a bunch of crazy crises throwing monkey wrenches into things. Considering I've got two TKD classes, a class field trip I'm chaperoning, a plumber coming in to repair the dryer, taking the car for inspection, Liam's Lego class, and speech therapy all on the docket this week I need things to run smoothly.

My thoughts exactly, Jamie.

A Trip To Phipps

2011-10-23T20:19:00.000-04:00

This week has been incredibly stressful and difficult. I feel like I've lived through 3 months worth of crises in the space of seven days and, frankly, I don't like it very much. Neither does anyone else in the house and we're all pretty cranky.

So, this morning we took the kids and went to Phipps. We haven't been in several months and this is usually a very relaxing family outing for us. It wasn't so awesome this morning (if you saw a woman carrying a yelling, screaming red-headed demon toward the exit, that would have been me) but we did our best to enjoy it regardless.

The fall flower shower is in full swing and the place is stuffed to the gills with mums - all colors, shapes, sizes, and statures. The main room off the rotunda has been turned into a massive train display.

This was Jamie's favorite room. Hence the screaming when informed it was time to leave.

"Choo-choo!"

As usual, the display designers at Phipps have left their unique twist on things. Left amidst the idyllic scenes of farms, the country store, and outdoor activities we find a barn...

...with dinosaurs. RAWR!

And oh, the colors! Reds! Oranges! Yellows!

If this isn't the definition of fall, I don't know what is.

As we left, a quintessential Pittsburgh scene greeted us.

The Cathedral of Learning against a perfect sky

The most exciting part of our visit (for me) was that I took my very first fully manual picture on my DSLR. I wanted to get a picture of one of the waterfalls in the Tropical Room and I wanted to slow the shutter speed down enough to get some nice blur on the water.

I did it!

It might not be the most interesting or most perfectly composed shot ever but I used the full manual function and I got the camera to do what I was hoping to make the camera do. Holy cats, I'm not a complete camera imbecile!

The Hard Evidence

2011-10-21T18:07:00.002-04:00

I've been posting on this blog for months now about Jamie's improving ability to speak. I've been meaning to get some of it on video for everyone to hear for themselves and I finally got some today. He's Chatty Charlie at all other times unless he his asleep but the second I picked up the video camera he didn't want to cooperate.

So, this is the best I could do.

Bear with me when you hear me say "dump truck" and "back hoe" about 40 kajillion times. They're two of his best and most favorite words so I was trying to get him interested in talking by getting him to say those two words.

Without further ado, I give you Jamie the (Finally!) Talking Toddler.

As always, he still has a long way to go but he's come so very, very far already.

A Burgeoning Romance

2011-10-20T17:54:00.000-04:00

Today I had to pick Liam up at school. He's been taking a Lego class after school on Thursdays so instead of taking the bus home, I pick him up at 4:30.

Jamie and I got there a bit early and hung out waiting for class to be done. When it was over, Liam approached us with his backpack on and no coat. I asked him if he had everything (he said yes), I said "where's your coat?" and he answered with a giant sigh and "I forgot it."

Since we hadn't left yet we strolled down to his classroom to pick up his coat before we headed home. As we approached the door to the classroom I stopped dead in the hall when I spotted this:

"My name is Leah and I like Liam."

Of course I whipped out my phone and took a quick picture. Liam had completely ignored my little detour and gone into his classroom to find his coat.

Now, there was one of these little declarations for each of the students. Some of them said that the kid like video games or Barbie. So, the next thing I did was start looking for Liam's.

Guess what I found when I did?

"My name is Liam and I like Leah."

Not Star Wars. Not Legos. Not Tae Kwon-Do. Leah.

Well, well, well.

Liam informs me that they had to choose something to like that began with the first letter of their first name. Still, you'd think that Liam would automatically think of Legos.

It begins so much earlier than I thought.

Fall Color

2011-10-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

I took a drive the other day hoping to get some fall color shots. While there were a lot of leaves already on the ground, I did manage to get a few I wanted to share. I hate cleaning up those leaves once they fall but I sure do love the colors they bring before they do.

A Budding Artiste

2011-10-16T19:49:00.000-04:00

From the time he could pick up a crayon and set it to paper Liam has loved art. The art corner in his room is filled to the brim with coloring books, markers, colored pencils, paper of all varieties and colors, glitter glue, and other supplies. When it comes time to clean his room, that corner is always the most onerous task for him because he has so much of it.

Lately he's really been on a drawing kick. He got some Ed Emberley books out of the library and he's been churning out sketches like a chipmunk of meth. The books seemed to really spark a fire in him.

While the following examples didn't come from the Ed Emberely books (I'll save those for another post), they do contain his other favorite thing in life: Star Wars. He drew all of the beloved characters from memory and I have to admit that they look like they should. I mean, Han and Leia really look like Han and Leia.

Luke and the Droids

Han and Leia

Yoda

I'm almost positive I couldn't draw like that when I was 6. Impressive. Most impressive.

All Smiles In The Big Boy Bed

2011-10-15T19:47:00.000-04:00

Several months back, Jamie moved out of the crib and into a bed. Since he was new the world of beds without bars, we put it on the floor so that it was more at his level and less intimidating. It's been that way ever since even though we had a bed frame ready to go for him.

I've been meaning to get the frame out and get him into an honest to goodness bed but I just didn't get around to it. I wanted to give him a few months of the on-the-floor set up to get used to the whole thing and a few months turned into 6 months.

Today I finally hauled it out, cleaned it up, carried it upstairs, and set up the bed. This was my bed when I was a kid and aside from the fact that I misplaced the bed knobs (I assume they'll turn up eventually, I know I've seen them), the bed is still in great shape. Jamie was thrilled.

Climbing up...

On top of the world looking down on creation...

Happiest kid on the block

Lifting his 36 lb bulk out of bed each morning just got a whole lot easier.

Starting Over

2011-10-13T19:39:00.000-04:00

I'm stalled out on this weight loss thing. I lost about 15 pounds and then just parked it there. I'd go up, I'd go down, I'd inch a little bit further down and then it all went straight to hell.

I've had a bad few weeks with Weight Watchers. Much of it is my own fault. I've gone for weigh-in but not stayed for meeting or just skipped altogether. I haven't been following the program as diligently as I should - I haven't been putting me first enough to do it. I spend my down time on my ass instead of getting a little exercise first.

As far as the food goes? Oh dear. It's not good. My stress level has been high for a number of reasons and I find myself eating all kinds of thing I shouldn't. Donuts keep appearing in my house. No, I'm not buying them but they sneak in and I have a very hard time saying no - especially at the end of a long, stressful day when all I want to do is eat carbs until I pop. Yummy, delicious carbs.

In short, I'm slacking.

So, I went to weigh-in this last night and I stayed for meeting. I gained 2 pounds but that was actually a victory because I expected it to be at least three. Meeting helped me to recenter myself about what I need to be doing and I realized that I'm putting everything else ahead of this one thing I'm trying to do for myself. It's just as important as doing the dishes or cleaning up the toys or supervising homework.

With that in mind, I started today with a new attitude, a new outlook, and a determination to be stronger than my cravings.

Today was a good day.

I tracked every single thing I ate. I even had lunch with a friend and the food was point-heavy but delicious. I took that into account and ate a much lighter dinner. Also, because Thursdays are one of my days without kids, I took a 2.42 mile walk after I got home from lunch. The weather was perfect and I couldn't resist getting out in it. I pushed myself farther than I normally do and it felt great.

Between exercise and careful points management, I ate my exact daily points target today without touching my extra weekly points (which I'll probably dip into while watching a bit of TV). I got all my fruits and vegetables in as well all my dairy and all my water. I ate a very balanced diet today.

I'm starting over and it feels good.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

2011-10-11T15:47:00.001-04:00

Got some bananas getting old? Want a tasty way to use them that's easy on your diet? Read on, friends.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins
1 3/4 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 c. sugar
1 TBSP. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
3/4 c. mini chocolate chips
1 large egg
1/4 c. vegetable oil
1/4 c. skim milk
2 large bananas
1 tsp. vanilla

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Place bananas in a bowl and mash.
3. In a separate bowl, measure and add dry ingredients (flour through chocolate chips). Stir to mix. Add egg, oil, milk, bananas, and vanilla. Stir well to mix.
4. Spray a mini-muffin pan with Baker's Pam and fill cups 2/3 full with batter. Bake 9 to 10 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Repeat process until batter is gone.

Makes approx. 48 mini-muffins.

The best parts about this recipe are a) my kids love them and gobble them up and b) they are only 1 Weight Watchers point per muffin. So, you can scale your serving size based on your points allowance.

Also, they're delicious.

You can certainly make this in a regular or even jumbo sized muffin tin, just bake them longer - keep checking to make sure you don't burn them. I just like the mini ones because they're kid sized and they help me keep my portions under control.

Enjoy!

Blue Belt

2011-10-08T17:23:00.001-04:00

It's the time again folks - time for belt test.

This time around Liam was testing for his blue belt. As with previous tests he was well prepared with knowing his pattern.

Then, sparring (Liam on the left):

And finally, after all the questions, answers, demonstrations, and speeches from the Master, he was awarded his belt.

Way to go, kiddo! Keep it up!

I Wore The Dress

2011-10-08T07:56:00.003-04:00

Several months ago I blogged about a dress that I bought. It's been months and progress has been slow but I can finally wear that dress.

Last night Scot and I went out to dinner for our anniversary and I donned my flippy blue dress for the occasion. I don't look like a dress form so it doesn't fit me like it fits a dress form. But it does fit.

So here's the proof:

I swear I didn't look that frumpy in person.

Too Cute For Words

2011-10-07T12:08:00.003-04:00

Ten

2011-10-06T08:56:00.000-04:00

Ten years ago today I married Scot.

Every time I think about it, this comes to mind:

Ten years have flown past. When we first got married, we talked about our 10th anniversary as if it were the distant future. Now, it's here and our wedding does not seem like the distant past. But somehow, we've gone from this:

To this:

We have two wonderful, gorgeous, amazing kids that make our lives both crazy and awesome (awesomely crazy?). Our family seems "just right" because of them.

We have each other. It's where we started this journey and it's ultimately where we'll end up after the kids are grown. There isn't anyone else I'd rather take the journey with.

I love you, Scot. Happy Anniversary.

The Kids Keep Growing Up

2011-10-05T14:25:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I get it, kids grow up. It's what they're supposed to do. Lately, it seems like I turn around they've changed hugely without any warning at all.

I've mentioned before that Liam has eating issues. Since the institution of his menu, things haven't really changed too much. He eats the things on the menu and not much else. He loves snack foods and sweets but those are doled out in a limited fashion.

Imagine my surprise when he tried not one but THREE new foods in one night.

I don't know what made me do it, but I had cooked a nice meal for the rest of us and before fixing Liam any food I told him that he had to have one bite of everything I'd made. I made breaded/baked chicken and served it over orzo with pesto over the top and broccoli on the side. Liam was given three small bites to try - one of each thing. What shocked me was that he sat down and tried everything without any nasty words, no tantrums, no crying, no gagging - NONE of the things that we've seen happen in the past. He didn't like a single thing he put in his mouth but he ate it anyway.

Then, I made him a peanut butter sandwich.

Then, a week or so ago, he came off the bus from school and the first words out of his mouth were "Mom! I tried red apples at school today and they were SO GOOD! I love them!"

I could only reply, "What?"

This kid was adamantly anti-fresh apples. He'll eat apple sauce but don't ask him to eat a hunk of raw apple. It just won't happen. Somehow his teacher at school got him to try both red and green apples (he didn't like the green.) Later that same week the kids made applesauce at school and came home with the recipe. Liam said "It was so good, Mom! We have to make it!" He has never in his life been willing to eat my homemade applesauce. He was only willing to eat Mott's.

We still have the occasional battle over food with him but he's starting to realize that every new food is not his enemy. He's growing up.

Jamie just keeps getting bigger. I pulled out fall/winter clothes for him since the weather has finally mostly turned. I thought I might still get some use out of last year's 2T's but it's not working out. The pants are long enough but not big enough in the waist and his shirts are just barely covering the diaper peeking out of the top of his pants. So, I moved him up to 3T's figuring that a little big was better than a little small.

Except they're not really big. They fit him. I have to roll up the pants a bit but otherwise, they're pretty perfect.

Liam was tiny at this age. He was always at least a year behind in sizes - especially with pants - and this was the age when I started getting multiple years use out of clothing for him. So, it's more than a little odd to see Jamie wearing clothes at the age of 2.5 that Liam was wearing at the age of four. Actually, not odd, freaky. Where did this giant kid come from?! How is it possible that he's big enough for this?!

Add to this the fact that Jamie is really racing with his language these days. His therapist told me that if he'd been where he is now back when he was first evaluated, he wouldn't have qualified for services. He's picking up new words so fast that I can't keep up with it anymore. I say something, he says it back - no prompting, no processing, no working hard. He just does it. He still has A LOT of work to do on enunciation and articulation but the words are coming out now. He never shuts up unless he's asleep and I suddenly have a truck detector in the back seat. Everywhere I go, he yells "TRUCK! TRUCK!" every time he sees one.

These two things taken together have really knocked it into my head in stunning fashion that Jamie isn't a baby anymore. When he was so speech-delayed that he wasn't really talking it was easy to forget that he was two. In fact, I had to remind myself regularly that he was plenty old enough to behave himself properly, have rudimentary manners, and start learning the concept of sharing. With his language so "baby-like" it was too easy for me to forget that he wasn't a baby. The advent of real language has brought it home how old he's getting - with the force of a sledgehammer. He's growing up, too. I can't wait to see how Jamie's personality shows itself when it comes to language.

I find myself realizing that I'm exiting the incredibly hard early years and things are beginning to ease up for me in a way I longed for when Jamie was a baby. I'm looking forward to new adventures.

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Sort Of)

2011-09-28T20:10:00.000-04:00

Oh what a day.

It started with me having to wake Liam up for school. I never have to do this because the kid is out of bed, bright eyed and bushy tailed, at the stroke of seven each morning. It's like he stalks the clock in his room just waiting for it to hit 7 am before bursting into the hallway with a loud "I'M UP!"

Not so much this morning, though. The boys got to bed late last night due to scheduling beyond my control and while Jamie handled it OK, Liam wasn't prepared. He woke up this morning with no spring in his step and bags under his eyes.

We got through the morning routine OK and made it to the bus on time. I warned Liam that he had a dentist appointment this afternoon so I would pick him up early from school.

I got back to the house and noticed that my Mom had called so I called her back to find out what she called about. A relative had passed away and she was calling to tell me. The day was starting to take a downward slide.

After I got off the phone with Mom, I was sitting around with Jamie while he watched morning cartoons when it dawned on me that I completely forgot my brother-in-law's birthday last week. Not just missed it after thinking "hey! That's coming up!" but TOTALLY FORGOT. It didn't even occur to me that I had a birthday to remember. I felt like a total heel. We don't exchange birthday gifts among the adults but we usually send cards and call each other. I missed it entirely. D'oh!

A bit later I turned off the TV and headed upstairs to sort out laundry for the day. I needed to wash the jeans I was wearing so I peeled them off to throw in the pile. I was sitting there sorting out loads of laundry - without pants on - when there was a knock at the door.

Crap.

I grabbed a pair of (dirty) jammy pants, hustled myself into them, and went downstairs to answer the door. Who was there? Jamie's speech therapist. Guess what I forgot? Yep, Jamie had speech therapy this morning and I was standing there in what amounted to pajamas. At least I was wearing a bra.

Batting 1,000, Cari.

The good news is that my house was not completely trashed so forgetting to clean before the therapist arrived wasn't an issue. Being a slave to the to-do list this week paid off and I didn't have a family room sunk in dirty dishes and scattered toys. WHEW!

After speech therapy we got lunch and I did laundry and then Jamie went down for a nap. Things seemed to even out at this point so I thought the worst was over. Not so.

I went downstairs to grab my now clean jeans out of the dryer so that I could get dressed to pick up Liam at school. The washing machine was flashing an error code at me. Aw, crap. I looked up the code and it had something to do with a lack of water supply. What the what?! I hit the cancel button and it started to do something so I let it go to see what it would do while I went upstairs to get dressed and wake Jamie from his nap. (I hate doing that but it was necessary so we could pick up Liam and get to the dentist on time.)

On our way down to the car to leave, I checked on the washer. It had now shut off altogether. Great. It wasn't working at all. Lately, the dryer has also been on the fritz (sort of), so now I was looking at no laundry facilities at all. Oh, this day.

The day finally seemed to turn a corner at the dentist. There was no bad news at the dentist. No cavities, everything in good shape, need a little work on the thoroughness of his brushing but otherwise good.

We got home and I turned the washing machine back on hoping that it had magically cleared up whatever was going on and decided to work again. It did! It washed the load with nary a hiccup. Clean clothes!

The day ended on a high note when I weighed-in at Weight Watchers and lost another pound then came home and got the kids to bed early.

It was a hell of a Wednesday.

Life In Our House

2011-09-25T09:32:00.002-04:00

People, my life is boring sometimes. One day bleeds into the next and so on and so forth until it’s suddenly the last week in September and I’m not quite sure how that happened.

We’re now several weeks into the school year and it seems we’ve finally settled into our routine. Liam has decided he no longer hates first grade and actually likes going to school. Academically, he is already making progress from where he was at the end of last year and I’m pretty impressed with his abilities.

Jamie had both his 6 month speech evaluation and his 30 month check-up at the pediatrician on Wednesday. As far as the speech goes, he’s clearly worlds ahead of where he was when we started speech therapy. He’s made tremendous progress but he’s still going to need to transition to the 3-5 year old program in March when he ages out of the program he’s in. In the meantime, he’s becoming a chatterbox and never. shuts. up.

At his well-child check-up he weighed in at 36 lbs and is now 36 inches tall. As his doctor says, “He’s a perfect square!” I’ve noticed lately that he seems to be more difficult to cart around in my arms and now I know why. Needless to say, he’s been getting around on his own two feet while holding my hand more often than not.

I’m getting used to the new schedule, too. Suddenly I have two days a week without the kids in the house and there’s so many things I want to get done I almost don’t know where to start. I probably need to sit down and make a list so that I can pick one of those things when the kids are gone. For now I’m just trying to keep up with the household chores - and doing my usual craptastic job of it.

I’m also still losing weight although very slowly. I had a bad couple of weeks in there and I gained some back - welcome to eating your feelings, Cari. But that has smoothed out and I lost what I gained so I’m sitting at around 16 lbs lost over all. I have about 15 more to go. So, I’m halfway there. If I can just force myself to be a bit more dedicated to this, I’ll make better progress.

Scot is busy with work during the week and hanging out with us on the weekends.

So, that’s us in a nutshell these days.

PodCamp Memories

2011-09-18T16:35:00.001-04:00

This weekend I attended PodCamp Pittsburgh 6. Despite wanting to go for the two previous PodCamps, I wasn't able to make it until this year so this was my first PodCamp. It turns out that I wasn't alone and about half the attendees were also newbies.

I was so nervous heading into this. Everyone assured me that I should stop stressing out about it because people were going to be welcoming and fun. Still, I felt a little (ok, A LOT) like the new kid trying to sit at the popular table in the lunch room on her first day.

Except it turns out there isn't a popular table. As they say at PodCamp, we're all Rockstars.

The festivities kicked off Friday night with a Meet and Greet. In spite of getting into a minor accident on the way there and a paucity of parking, I arrived only about a half hour after it started. I chatted with people I already knew and met a bunch of new people as well. I felt so much more at ease about showing up to PodCamp the next morning after going to the Meet and Greet. It was fun!

PodCamp itself was informative, interesting, funny, social, and (most of all) FUN. I learned a lot. I met awesome new people. From the perspective of someone who had never been before, I can't say enough things about how great it was. There were sessions I wanted to be in but couldn't (because I was attending other sessions) and I'm looking forward to watching them once the video gets posted. Beyond that, everyone there made it a point to be friendly and helpful to one another. If you have to be in a roomful of strangers, this is the roomful of strangers to be in.

In short, if you've never been to PodCamp and you want to go, DO IT. Don't follow my nervous nelly example and be scared.

Last, I leave you with four words: Vegan Death Metal Chef. You learn about all kinds of things at PodCamp.

The Tantrum From Hell Explained

2011-09-11T21:55:00.001-04:00

I have a theory about childhood development. I only have my two children as evidence but from what I have observed with the two of them, whenever they are about to make a major developmental leap, they are impossible. With Liam the problems always manifested themselves in his sleep and the poor sleep resulted in difficult behavior. This was true from the time he was an infant and it's still true today. His last serious sleep regression coincided with learning to read.

Jamie hasn't been as extreme as his brother, in large part because he is a better sleeper over all. But he still has his moments and his sleep regressions (and consequent poor behavior) have also centered on major developmental milestones. It doesn't seem nearly as dire as it did with Liam and I can't tell if that's because of Jamie or because he's our second kid and we're less uptight.

Whatever the case, the general pattern is that if there is any rewiring in their brains going on, I'm guaranteed to have a rough time with them behavior-wise.

Guess who made a leap?

Jamie made another jump with the language today. His therapist and I suspected it was on the horizon because in his last therapy session things were coming easier to him and he was speaking more clearly. He seemed to be able to repeat words more quickly and more clearly than he had been doing previously. This wasn't a major improvement but it was a noticeable one.

Before his tantrum yesterday Jamie was tetchy all day. He was frustrated and difficult and his speech was complete gobbledegook when he chose to speak at all. I spent most of the day trying to translate what he wanted and failing utterly. It was like his speech had suddenly regressed. Then he had a thermonuclear meltdown at bedtime.

This morning he suddenly started talking in phrases spontaneously. It's happened a few times before but his usual pattern is that he can repeat what we say but rarely, if ever, does he apply what he knows how to say to anything else. He started doing that today out of the blue.

The first time he did it, I was putting my shoes on so I could take the kids to the playground and Jamie saw me doing it. He said "Shoe? Me?" Shoe is a brand new word. He said both words quite clearly - probably the clearest I've ever heard him speak. Of course I told him that yes, he was going to have to put his shoes on, too.

Then, while at the playground, he was sliding down the big slide with his brother. He got upset at one point and Liam tried to get him to go back up and slide down again with him. Jamie replied, "No! Mama do!" Again, very clearly said. Again, an entirely new phrase.

Later, Liam asked if he wanted to slide again and Jamie said, "No. All done." The kid is having conversations now. REAL conversations.

Last, I was putting him down for his nap and he had his snuggle blankie over his head. I pulled it off so we could rock together and he popped out with "PEEK-BOO!" Now, he's known how to say peek-a-boo for quite some time but it was always said in reply to us when we were playing with him. This time he plucked it from his vocabulary and used it correctly all on his own.

So there you have it. His impression of Linda Blair was the precursor to him making a huge leap in his language abilities. He has truly outdone his brother on this one.

Impressive. Most Impressive.

2011-09-10T19:57:00.000-04:00

I witnessed something tonight that I have never previously seen in my life. I watched Jamie have a ferocious tantrum. I've seen kids tantrum before. I've seen Jamie tantrum before. But this was something in another league altogether. When it was over and done with I was pretty sure we needed an old priest and a young priest.

The screaming began the second that Scot told Jamie was time to head upstairs for bath. Jamie wanted me to take him but I had reached my limit with him by that point and Scot had volunteered to take bath and bed duty for Jamie while I took on Liam. Jamie was having none of this.

Scot dragged him upstairs and the symphony of screaming was so loud it nearly drowned out the TV. Jamie was screaming at high pitch and high volume but also gutturally. They were the kind of screams that you just know hurt your throat to utter. But he was going at it full bore, only pausing to suck in another breath so he could keep screaming.

"Liam," I said, "we need to head upstairs right now. You can finish watching this tomorrow."

I grabbed the clean laundry and headed up. I got Liam started on putting his clean clothes away and then went in to help Scot tag team Jamie. I walked in and Jamie was kicking, screaming, and flailing on his bed while Scot tried to get his clothes off. Scot got him down to his diaper and he FLIPPED OUT even further and tried to pluck his clothes out of the dirty laundry and make me put them back on him.

We walked out and let him scream. I checked on Liam and his clothes and then grabbed Jamie's and put them away. I refused to look at Jamie. He followed me around screaming as loud as he could. Again, without pause except to get air.

Finally, I pinned him down and removed his diaper. I think I have bruises from the assault of his legs. He ran around naked and screaming for all he was worth while I tried to snatch him and put him in the bath that was running for him. I finally got him and deposited him in the tub.

Baths are his favorite thing. He loves them and they soothe him. He never goes to sleep as well or as easily on nights that we skip his bath - which means we rarely skip them. I was hoping that the bath would help.

He continued to scream.

High pitched. Loud. Guttural.

He flailed and splashed to express his anger. I tried to calm him down but all he did was scream and point imperiously OUT of the tub. He refused to calm down even in the tiniest increment.

I finally just washed him and pulled him out and he got mad at me for giving him what he wanted.

So now there's a wet, naked, screaming, red-faced toddler standing there. I wrapped him up in his towel and tried, futilely, to determine his problem and calm him down. I dried him off and hung up the towel hoping that he would lead me to his desire. Nope.

He ran around the upstairs naked and screaming. This went on for some time. I had to pin him to the floor to administer his night time medication. This is unheard of. He was screaming so hard I was afraid he was going to choke.

Finally, I decided I couldn't put it off any longer and it was time to get him in his diaper and pj's. He saw what was coming and started trying to fight me off like an enraged badger.

It took the both of us to hold him down just to get the diaper on him.

Eventually we got him dressed and ready for bed. I sat down with him to rock and he suddenly seemed to calm a bit and let me soothe him. He was still tetchy but he had stopped screaming - at least I'm pretty sure he did because I was deaf by this point. With the help of a small sippy of water, I was able to get him settled in bed without him launching into another rendition of the scream symphony.

I think if he his head had spun around three times while vomiting pea soup I would not have been shocked. I now know what a full bore redheaded temper tantrum looks like and I don't like it one tiny bit.

Adjustments

2011-09-08T11:03:00.000-04:00

"I hate school, Mom."

"You hate school? What don't you like about it?"

"Everything. I hate homework, I hate going. I just hate it."

As these words came spilling out of Liam's mouth, I could feel tears start to well up in my eyes. Two weeks into school and he hates it.

"Do you hate your teacher?"

"No."

"And you like lunch and recess and gym, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," he replied a bit reluctantly.

"So you don't hate EVERYTHING, right? And you get to learn lots of new things."

"I HATE learning new things!"

Aha. It was going to be one of those conversations. Clearly, nothing I said was going to make him feel much better because he didn't want to feel better. He wanted to hate school.

I sighed. "It will get better, honey. I promise."

It was the best I could offer him but I felt so bad for him. Liam loved school last year and he always looked forward to going. He'd push me out the door to be as close to the front of drop off line as possible. He came home bubbly and happy every day.

This year is an entirely different matter. I know that a lot of it has to do with the schedule adjustment. I know that first grade is The Big Leagues and very different from what he is used to. But I also know that his teacher knows this and that she is working hard to get the kids through all these changes as smoothly as possible. All the same, my heart hurts for him that he is experiencing these feelings at all.

Slowly and incrementally he seems a bit more chipper about school. He came home yesterday in a better mood and Scot took him out for ice cream last night. Some one on one time with Dad really seemed to center him. We'll keep on plugging, because that's what we do, and I'll keep hoping that his love of learning will return soon.

Whew. We Made It.

2011-09-02T18:13:00.001-04:00

We're all a little worse for wear but we have survived the first full week of school. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see a Friday afternoon.

Liam is happy with his new teacher and his new class. He loves being a big bus-riding kid and eating lunch at school. Recess is the highlight of his day so far because he gets to see all his friends from last year. But he is Worn Out. He's wandering around with dark circles under his eyes that make it look like he ended up at the wrong end of a fist during Tae Kwon-Do. The poor kid was exhausted last night.

Scot and I are little better than he is. The new schedule is wearing on me and the week has been busy otherwise (see: vet emergency). I probably should have stopped doing 90 miles an hour before I hit that wall in my way. But hit it I did and tonight I am knackered. The good news is that Curriculum Night at school was last night so tonight I can fall on my face.

Speaking of which, we love his teacher. She's everything you want a first grade teacher to be. She's clearly very excited to be in the classroom full time this year (she was a resource teacher last year). I can't wait to see how far she can take these kids.

And as for Jamie, well, he's finally starting to get into the groove of things. It seems like he had the hardest time with the changes earlier this week but is in the best shape tonight. The inverse has been true for the rest of the family. So, while we're all ready to face plant, he's got enough energy to power Tokyo.

Thank goodness it's a holiday weekend. We can all use the extra day of rest!

So. That Happened.

2011-09-01T21:33:00.002-04:00

Maggie the Wonder Beagle is Maggie the Sickie Beagle.

We started to notice last night that something wasn't quite right. She had to be coaxed to eat her dinner which, if you've ever met a beagle in your life, you know this is more than a little unusual.

This morning she completely ignored her breakfast. She was acting lethargic and just not right. Then, as I was getting everyone out the door and heading toward the bus stop, Liam nudged her toward her crate and she YELPED in pain. Suddenly, it was clear something was not right and it seemed as though she was acting like she had joint pain around her hips.

After I got the kids off to their respective schools, I called my Mom. (Have I ever mentioned that my parents are veterinarians? Well, they are.) I talked with her a bit about what might be wrong with Maggie and whether or not she might need to see the vet. She thought Maggie might have wrenched her back while at the kennel while we were away last weekend but said "Take her temp just to rule out something else."

So I took her temp and she was 104.5. That's 2.5 degrees above normal for a dog. Instead of ruling something out, we ruled something in: a vet appointment.

I called our vet and they were able to get me in quickly (thank goodness!) so I trotted off with Maggie who was clearly feeling like a pile of you-know-what by this point. Once there they took a quick history and re-temped her (still 104.5) and then sent the Doc in. Once the doctor started examining here, all sorts of weird things started emerging.

She looked like she had massive amounts of bruising over her hips and some along her back.

The vet found a spot that looked like a wound and was oozing pus.

She was clearly in pain from all this.

So, out came the clippers and they started shaving down a couple of areas to get a better look. They started with the wound that was oozing. They kept shaving and shaving and shaving, finding more and more sores all over her back. She ended up with the majority of her back shaved down (the reverse mohawk!) to reveal that her back was a mass of hundreds of sores (now oozing because of the clipper blades) from shoulders to hips. But just her back - not on her sides, stomach, face, or legs. So, the placement was kind of odd.

They decided to do some blood work and took a slide of what was oozing out her sores. It became clear that she has a doozy of a bacterial infection going on. While we can't trace the genesis of this little issue we can treat her for it so treat her we did.

Two hours, 3 medications, and a melting credit card later we were headed home. Tonight her fever is down, she ate her dinner, and seems to be feeling more like herself. She is sporting the most ridiculous haircut and an even more ludicrous bright green t-shirt to keep her (and bugs, ew!) from getting at the sores on her back.

Maggie definitely puts the "special" in "a special kind of crazy."

The Scale Proceeds Downward

2011-08-31T20:05:00.001-04:00

I had weigh-in tonight and I have lost yet another pound. That makes a total of 15.7 since I started back to Weight Watchers. It's actually a little shocking that I lost given that we were away for the weekend and I ate a number of yummy treats I should have kept my fingers out of.

Slowly but surely I'm sneaking up on a major milestone. It's slower than I would like it to be and that's all down to me. I should be exercising more. I should cheat with the food less often. I try to focus on the fact that the number is still going down anyway. But really, I'd like it to go down faster.

Despite my sneaking, I'm at a weight right now that I haven't seen since shortly after I gave birth to Jamie. In the 6 weeks or so that I shed pounds like a fiend after his birth, it was right around where I am now that I stalled out. Then, I started inching back up ultimately putting on 15 pounds. So, that number I see on the scale now is a number I haven't seen in about 2.5 years.

It may be slow, but it's a victory nonetheless. I'm wearing jeans I couldn't even get over my overly-large-ass last fall. I squeezed into the smallest size shorts I own. I can't wear them out and I look like 8 lbs of sausage in a 5 lb bag but, by God, I got those suckers buttoned. I couldn't even get one thigh in them last summer.

This week, I'm going to try to be really diligent abut tracking and increase my exercise. I'm going to lose that last 15 pounds if it kills me!

Loose Ends

2011-08-30T13:51:00.000-04:00

I find myself twiddling my thumbs a bit today.

Today, both of the kids are at school and Scot is at work and I am home alone for 8 hours for the first time since Jamie was born. (I think. It's possible I'm lying about that but my memory isn't what it used to be.) I decided that I was going to enjoy this first day of relative freedom and take it easy a bit. After I got the kids off to school, I did the grocery shopping.

ALONE.

Once I came home and unloaded everything, I sat down and made a list of chores to tackle today. It wasn't very long but it was also a list that I would have had trouble finishing a week ago when the kids were home all day. I didn't think anything of it, I just figured it was a decent list to tackle.

It was done by 1:15.

I didn't rush. I didn't run around like a crazy person cleaning my house. I had a leisurely lunch. I played around on Facebook and Twitter. I even watched ridiculous middle-of-the-day television. (By the way, there is NOTHING on TV in the middle of the day!) Still, I managed to complete that list of tasks two hours before Liam is due home from school.

It seems I am a little out of practice with this thing called "free time." I'm sure I'll get back into the groove with it soon. But for now I'm at loose ends.

Endings and Beginnings

2011-08-25T19:51:00.001-04:00

Summer ends.

School begins.

Today was the day it all changed.

It's been a good summer. After promising myself that we would have fun this summer, I went right out and did just that. We had playdates, we went to the pool, we visited the zoo, we spent time at the beach, we visited family, we spent time at playgrounds and parks. We filled our days with laughter and fun. The summer flew past in what seemed like the blink of an eye.

The last two weeks before school started seemed to take forever, though. Liam was clearly bored with our summer routine and even going out and having fun seemed like a chore. His listening ears seemed to have been shoved in the back of a drawer somewhere to gather dust. I spent a lot of time breaking up fights between the kids because they just couldn't leave each other alone.

Clearly, it was time for school.

Today was the joyous day Liam finally became an official first grade student.

Ready for school!

First grade is a big deal. He goes to school all day, he gets to ride the bus both ways, he gets to eat his lunch at school and have recess with his friends. He was a bit nervous about it all over the last couple of days but this morning he strapped on his backpack and hopped on the bus like a pro.

I got lucky and the first day of the school year fell on a day that Jamie was also out of the house at daycare. So, I spent the morning cleaning the house like some kind of maid on meth and then cleaned myself up and headed over to my neighbor's annual "Boohoo/Yahoo Party." This is the party she has on the first day of the school year for all the neighborhood Moms. Lots of yummy food and conversation later it was time to get Liam off the bus.

It seems as though his first day was a smashing success. He seemed excited about his teacher and his desk and meeting the other kids. Now it's time to get into a groove with the new routine.

Chatterbox

2011-08-17T20:45:00.001-04:00

Jamie is forging ahead with language just as fast as he can go. He's begun to use 3 and 4 word phrases without prompting. He tries so hard to communicate with us.

His recent list of phrases includes:

Maggie, where are you?
There it is!
Night-night! Love you!
Sit right here, Mama.
I don't know.

It sounds like he's saying more than just those but, as usual, the enunciation could use some work. I'm just happy to hear him trying in the first place.

Aside from increased vocabulary and better facility with stringing words together, the biggest change is how much happier he is. We used to have 20 min tantrums at meal times because he couldn't communicate what he wanted. He would get frustrated, we would get frustrated, and it would all degenerate into screams. Those days are mostly a thing of the past. His base level of frustration has dropped significantly and stems more from not getting what he wants rather than not being able to tell us what he wants. He no longer loses his shit at the first sign that someone doesn't understand him. Instead, I consistently see him try desperately to get his point across and he works at it until he succeeds.

There is still a very long way to go. He is way behind his peers as far as being inteligible goes. If my memory hasn't rotted away completely (always a hazard), Jamie seems to be around the same level Liam was when Liam got tubes just before he turned two. After Liam got his tubes, it took him about a year to catch up. He wasn't nearly so badly delayed as Jamie and he didn't get early intervention like Jamie has but it still took almost a year. Now, he never shuts up, uses words far beyond his age level, and deploys sarcasm with devastating accuracy. With continued therapy, I believe Jamie will be chattering away like a pro within the next year.

Blue Stripe!

2011-08-13T14:37:00.000-04:00

Liam had a belt test this morning and he passed with flying colors.

If he keeps it up at this pace, he'll earn his blue belt in October, be a red stripe before Christmas, and earn his red belt just after his birthday. Once he's a red belt he gets to start breaking boards. After red belt he has to earn 3 black stripes before he gets his black belt. So, as long as nothing derails him, he'll get his black belt sometime when he's eight.

I can't tell you how proud of him I am.

An Update On The Diet Thing

2011-08-10T22:28:00.000-04:00

It's been a couple of weeks since I talked about this and for those of you following along at home I thought I'd give you a quick update.

Two weeks ago I did a mid-day strafing run weigh in because we had dinner plans with friends and I couldn't make it to my regular meeting. It had not been my best week and I was stressed with trying to prepare for our trip to boot. I was hoping to just hold steady. I gained 0.4 lbs. I saw it as a victory because it could have been more.

Last week I missed meeting and weigh in altogether because we arrived home from vacation just hours before meeting time and shortly after I got everything unpacked from the car, I managed to smash my bumper into the garage. Needless to say (but I'm going to anyway), I was not having a fabulous night and choose a high potency stout over Weight Watchers.

This week I went back to my meeting. I got back on track with my eating habits, got back to tracking (which I slacked on during vacation), and tried to whip my sorry butt into shape.

I lost the 0.4 lbs I had gained two weeks ago.

This may seem like the tiniest of victories but it's not. For one, losing is losing not matter how much or how little. For two, I gained weight in the week I was gone on vacation. I tried to stay on track but the longer I was gone the more I veered off track. I did avail myself of my parents treadmill on a couple of occasions but that couldn't possibly make up for the crappy way I was eating. When I got home I was a couple of pounds above where I wanted to be. So that 0.4 loss was more like 2 pounds.

Onward and downward (on the scale, that is)!

It's All Happening At The Zoo

2011-08-09T13:11:00.001-04:00

Our last big outing while visiting my parents was a trip to the zoo. This was Liam's favorite part of the trip because he knew the dinosaurs were back at the zoo and he couldn't wait to see them again. Each summer the Detroit Zoo installs a whole raft of animatronic dinosaurs that move and bellow and spit water (some of them). You walk a gravel path through a wooded area and the dinos are all tucked into the trees. They're huge and really cool and very, very well done so Liam was excited.

But before we hit the dinosaurs, we stopped into the Butterfly House. This is always a calming oasis of green plants and fluttering lepidoptera. Dad planned ahead and wore red which always attracts the butterflies.

Two landed on his back to start with.

Then one moved up to his shoulder.

The dinosaurs were even better this year than the last time we saw them. They had more of them and they were fantastic.

Brachiosaurus

T. Rex

Quetzalcoatlus

They don't spare the gore, either.

The detail was amazing.

"Wow, Mom!"

Giganotasaurus. Yes, he was HA-UGE.

After the dinos we wandered through a bunch of the zoo. We didn't see the whole thing because it's a big zoo and Jamie has a time limit. We were working to see as much as we could before we needed to head home so Jamie could nap and before the worst of the heat of the day. But, we got to see a fair bit and then snagged a ride on the train to get back to the front of the zoo.

Mandarin Duck

River Otter

The ubiquitous peacock

Gorilla. He was magnificent.

The boys and me at the entrance to the polar exhibit.

Jamie inside the polar exhibit

Liam on the train

It was a great day and I'm really glad we saved it for our last outing of the trip. It gave the kids something to look forward to and ended our vacation on a high note. Days like this one remind of how much easier things are getting as the kids get older. We still have our rough spots - oh boy, do we - but getting out and having fun together is a regularly attainable goal these days.

Now, we're back in the swing of things here at home and looking toward the start of school. In just two more weeks Liam will be a first grader. Where did the summer go?

Beachy Fun!

2011-08-06T13:13:00.000-04:00

While we were visiting my parents last week, we made it a point to hit the beach. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a beach where they live whereas it's a two hour drive to Erie to get to one around here.

So, yeah, the beach was on the list of must-do activities.

Sunday morning we got up and went to early Mass then headed straight home, changed into beach attire and headed off for a couple of hours of sun and sand before we had to go home for Jamie's nap. Liam has been to a beach before but it was Jamie's first experience with it and he loved it. The water was the perfect temperature as well as clear and clean. Jamie ran right in and was completely fearless about the water. The kid would have walked in over his head if we let him.

They also spent a good amount of time playing in the sand and just generally having a great time.

Getting a shell from Puppa

A handful of sand...

...bombs away!

THEY ACTUALLY PLAYED TOGETHER.

Puppa with his grandsons

We stayed for a couple of hours and then everyone was hungry and getting tired so we packed up and headed home. I'd forgotten how much fun being at the lake can be. Walking up to the beach, I caught the smell of the water and suddenly I was a little girl again, on vacation with my family, knowing that we were almost to the most fun I would have all day because I could smell the water.

It was great to make those memories with my kids. I hope we can do it again next year.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

2011-08-05T08:24:00.000-04:00

At the end of last week I picked up a rental mini van, packed up the kids and a ton of crap, and headed off for the 6 hour drive to my parents house for a 5 day visit. The kids were very excited to go see Oma and Puppa as it's been over a year since we made the trek up to see them (they have come to visit us in the interim).

It was a fun and busy visit and everyone had a great time. I think I'm still recovering.

Saturday morning we took the kids to a local playground to run their beans out a bit. They'd been trapped in a car for most of the previous day so they needed some time to run.

Oma and Jamie enjoying the swings.

Saturday afternoon we took it easy and then four of my high school classmates drove in from various parts of the state to hang out for awhile. I saw Jan and Paul about a year and a half ago at our class reunion but I hadn't seen Phil since high school. I also got to meet his lovely wife and his adorable son. They all hung out at my parents place, we grilled, ate, drank beer, and chatted for several hours. It was really a lot of fun to see them and I was grateful they were all willing to drive to my parent's house so that I didn't have to find someone to take care of the kids.

The 2011 Meeting of the Sarcasm Society

(L to R: Jan, Phil, Me, Paul)

We tried to keep the kids busy for most of the days we were there by having some sort of activity in the morning and then be home by lunch/nap time. This way Jamie still got his naps and we were home in the air conditioning during the worst of the high heat in the mid-afternoon. We spent time at the beach and the zoo on separate days and one morning we went to the local mall to avail ourselves of the playground as well as the children's clothing outlets.

Up, up, and away!

I'm sitting on a giant ear of corn, Mom. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

We stayed through Tuesday and drove home on Wednesday. We were all glad to be home again. This was the longest trip away from home the kids have been on and they were missing home and Scot by the time we finally returned. I then celebrated our homecoming by smashing my car into the brick corner of the garage. Welcome home!

Posts Forthcoming

2011-08-03T18:51:00.000-04:00

I know it seems as though I have abandoned ye olde bloggity blog but I really haven't. I spent a week prepping for a 5 day visit to the Familial Homestead and then 5 days AT the Familial Homestead.

Much fun (and driving!) was had by all and there will be posts coming about the visit. However, we just got home this afternoon and I am WHIPPED. I want to collapse on the couch and watch trashy TV because that's all my fried brain can handle.

But, rest assured, you will soon see posts on trips to the beach and fun at the Zoo.

Continued Success

2011-07-21T09:14:00.002-04:00

Last night was weigh-in night at Weight Watchers. I've been sneaking up on my 5% goal and I was really hoping to make it. For those of you that don't know, the 5% goal is losing 5% of your starting weight - which for me meant losing 9 pounds.

I've felt thinner this week. Several people have commented on it and my clothes are getting bigger on me. Before too much longer, I'm going to have to completely retire my largest size shorts - they're practically falling off me. I was really hoping the scale would be good to me.

I stepped onto the scale in my bathroom before leaving for meeting. I had lost over 2 pounds since the previous week and was well under my 5% goal so even with the difference between my scale and theirs, I was likely to make my goal. Apparently not eating anything since lunch and drinking a crap ton of water was paying off. ;)

At meeting I weighed in and it did not disappoint. I lost 2.0 lbs according to their scale. I easily made (and surpassed!) my 5% goal.

I've now lost 10.6 lbs since I started back to meetings.

I've lost 14 lbs over all.

The next goal is my 10% goal for which I have 8 more pounds to lose. I have about 20 more pounds to lose overall.

Achievement Unlocked: Tie Shoes

2011-07-15T19:41:00.000-04:00

Liam is nearly 6.5 years old and doesn't know how to tie his own shoes. There are two reasons for this. The first is that I'm lazy and haven't sat down to teach him. The second is that I'm lazy and I don't buy him shoes with laces. So, everything is velcro and he can get them on without my help.

But, I have a very clear memory of myself in kindergarten. I remember that there were construction paper cut outs of shoes hanging on the wall in the classroom with various class members names on them. I approached the teacher and asked her why my name wasn't up there. She told me that those were the kids that could tie their own shoes. My response was classic. "Oh that? I've been able to do that for ages!" Then I proceeded to demonstrate for her so she could put my name on one of those construction paper shoes.

Here Liam is, just 6 weeks away from starting first grade and he doesn't have that knowledge. Yesterday I sat down with him and a pair of my cross trainers to coax him through this young rite of passage.

I figured it would take more than one teaching session and quite a bit more practice but in about 15 minutes flat he picked up. He started to get frustrated a couple of times but I tried to keep it fun and he worked with me until he was doing it all by himself without me talking him through it.

The next thing I knew he was clomping around like this:

Next up: buying him tie shoes of his very own.

Wordless Wednesday: Choo Choo!

2011-07-13T07:39:00.000-04:00

Fun At Blue Slide Park

2011-07-12T09:42:00.002-04:00

The pictures say it all.

Summer Swim

2011-07-11T20:53:00.000-04:00

Liam finished up swim lessons for the summer at the end of last week. While he didn't manage to graduate out of the level he's in (and that's OK, he's just not there yet) he did get a lot more comfortable in the water.

On the last day of classes, they got to do the fun stuff like ride the water slides and jump off the diving board. These are activities that Liam has been exceedingly wary of doing on his own - even with the lifeguards there to catch him. I invariably had to ride the slides with him (which, while fun, is impossible if I have Jamie in tow and no other adults to help) so I was really hoping he would master this one thing.

He didn't let me down.

That big slide is the one he FINALLY went down on his own.

No hesitation - all by himself!

Leaping Liam!

We'll work with him at the pool the rest of the summer and then he'll repeat the level next summer. I'm just glad he loves the water and isn't so afraid of it anymore.

There Was A Stage Show

2011-07-10T19:45:00.004-04:00

Toward the end of the school year, Liam received an invitation to a classmate's birthday party to be held over the summer. It was to be a Star Wars themed party held for Liam's classmate and his two younger brothers (who also have birthdays around the same time). I should have known from the invite that this was no simple kiddie party.

The invitation included photoshopped pictures of the kids as Star Wars characters, the characteristic Star Wars font, and the text laid out in that "scrolling into the void of space" way that begins all Star Wars films. This missive was delivered inside a paper towel tube that was dressed up to look like a light saber.

That was just the invitation.

Yesterday was finally party day. Costumes were encouraged so we pulled out Liam's Luke costume from a couple of Halloweens ago, threw his Jedi robe over the top, and grabbed one of his play lightsabers. I accompanied him to the soiree.

I am beyond mad at myself that I forgot my good camera leaving me only my iPhone for documentation because it was so over the top it had to be seen to be believed.

We walked in to find life size cardboard cutouts of C3PO and R2D2. A photographer was waiting to take Liam's picture with them. That done, we headed to the REGISTRATION TABLE (for a kid's birthday - like it was some international conference on human rights) where we picked up our name tags, checked in, and got a light stick for use during "Jedi Training."

Oh dear.

We went on into the hall where the party was being held to find multiple tables of food and drink set up. Everything was labelled as to what it was but using Star Wars themed names - ie "Mace Windu Mac N Cheese." All of the signage (of which there was plenty) had been lovingly printed out and affixed to stiff boards to make it look as professional as possible.

Liam was instantly overwhelmed.

He went to sit with one of his other classmates while I found the Mom to say hello. She was dressed as Leia from Return of the Jedi.* Dad was Han Solo. Grandma was Queen Amidala. Grandpa was C3P0. The boys were Obi Wan, Luke, and Yoda - wearing costumes that could have walked off the set of the films.

I tried to get Liam to eat something but he was feeling too overwhelmed by it all to even think about food. He seemed very uncomfortable so we just sat together for awhile while he took it all in and got comfortable with everything that was going on. Eventually, it was time to get the festivities rolling and it was like a flashback to Kindergarten Carnival. The kids were divided into small groups. Each of those groups was led by an adult. They took the kids outside and rotated them through a number of party games that had been set up in stations. This took around an hour or so. I don't know because I was inside talking with other parents where it was cool.

Then they came inside and it was time for the stage show.

Yes, as I stated earlier, there was as stage show.

Two dudes dressed as Jedi got up on the stage and, with microphones (so it was EXTRA loud), they proceeded to lecture the kids on the ways of the force, give them a demonstration of Jedi skills, and then lead them through some basic Jedi training.

And then Darth Vader arrived.

We're not talking just any Vader here, either. This guy had a primo costume. It was not flimsy. It was not cheap.

So he shows up on the stage and the kids got to battle him one by one with their newfound Jedi skills. Liam, the young padawan, learned his skills well.

Now, all of this took at least another 45 minutes. After the kids did their thing with Vader, they got goodie bags (backpacks with the Jedi logo on it) and homemade lightsabers made out of pool noodles, craft paper, and tape. They went back outside for a Jedi obstacle course and a Death Star shaped piñata that they each got 3 whacks at before it finally broke and there was a grand melee for candy. While this was going on, the parents were given a slip of paper telling us that our child's photo from their arrival (you know, the one with the droids) was now ready for pickup.

They brought a printer just to print out these pictures.

Finally the kids came back inside. It was now 7:00 pm. The cakes had not yet been cut or served. I told Liam it was time to go, we gathered up our stuff, and went home.

I leave you with a few of the (crappy) pictures I took. I hope it gives you a sense of the completely out of control nature of this party. The kids had a great time and that's wonderful but the amount of work and money that went into this thing was almost obscene.

There were three cakes (one for each kid) but my picture of the third one is all blurry.

These were kites that they hung from the ceiling as decoration.

Entirely edible Jawa cupcakes.

Mind? Blown.

----------------------------------
*After a question from a Twitter friend, I feel compelled to clarify that Mom was dressed as the ass kicking Leia during the Endor raid, not the metal bikini clad Leia during her captivity with Jabba.

A Not So Fabulous Week

2011-07-06T19:34:00.000-04:00

This would be the part where I would like to crawl under a rock and not talk about this but I feel like I need to put myself out there. I don't know why but I'm just going to go with it.

So. Weigh-in this week was not so amazing as the last two. I lost a little bit - 0.2 lbs - but only a very little bit. I knew my body was going to have to slow down its breakneck pace at some point but I was so hoping to drop just 1 pound this week. If I had, I would have made my 5% goal. Even more frustrating is that my scale at home weighed me 0.5 lbs less than what the scale at Weight Watchers did. Sometimes my scale matches theirs and sometimes it doesn't. It's entirely unfair.

I think maybe I'm slipping a little bit. I'm not being as hard nosed with myself about what I eat and what I track. I'm still pretty diligent but I need to be REALLY diligent. I'm not there; there is room for improvement.

Also, I just don't exercise. I hate to do it and I would much rather sit down after the kids are asleep than get up and go walking. Thus far, I have given into that impulse. This being the case, my big goal for this week is to walk at least three times. If I can do it more than that, so much the better. I have a route mapped. I have an iPod full of tunes. I just need to do it. Interent, please bug me until I do.

However, there were a couple of bright spots in the week. The first: I am in smaller clothes. My shorts are all smaller now and stuff that was just barely acceptable now looks very nice on me. The second: I was able to wear my mothers ring today for the first time in many, many months. It's meant to be worn with my wedding set, on the other side of my engagement ring from the wedding band. I love how it looks when it's all together but all three at once is a squeeze my fat fingers weren't tolerating. Today I was able to slip it on in the morning with ease and wear it all day.

Despite this not being my best week, I'm trying to push the reset button and refocus myself on what I need to be doing. Tomorrow is a fresh day with a fresh chance to do my very best.

Wordless Wednesday: Napping In The Park

2011-07-06T08:00:00.000-04:00

As seen in the middle of North Park.

Women The World Over Are Jealous

2011-07-05T08:00:00.000-04:00

The eyelashes kill me.

And it's not just Jamie that has them. Both of my boys are blessed with them. Liam was three in this picture, but they're just as full and thick today.

Why, yes, I did just make a whole post about my kids eyelashes.

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-03T08:00:00.001-04:00

What better way to celebrate than with cupcakes?

Yes, I know I'm a day early. So what?

Shrinking

2011-06-30T15:13:00.002-04:00

Last night was weigh-in night at Weight Watchers. I wasn't sure what I was going to see when I stepped on the scale because I had a bit of a rough spot in the middle of the week. I had two days in a row where I was fighting the constant urge to devour everything in sight. I didn't fall completely off the wagon but I didn't do my very best either.

But after those two days, I climbed back up, dusted my willpower off, and started again. I had three days until weigh in and I had to make those three days count.

And make them count, I did. I lost 2.2 pounds this week.

That makes a total of 11.3 pounds since I started doing this with the online program and a full 8 pounds since I started back to meetings two weeks ago.

My pants fit so much better. I'm almost completely into a smaller size at this point. I still wear the larger size when I'm feeling frumpy or lazy and want comfort over style. But that larger size is pretty loose now and getting progressively more so.

I'm trying not to look too far ahead of myself at this point. I know what I WANT to be able to wear come fall but I don't want to think very hard about it because if I don't get there, I don't want to disappoint myself. I just want to be happy with my current success and build on that.

But it's awfully nice not to feel so disgusting when I'm at the pool with my kids. It might not show to other people but I can tell I look different and that difference gives me confidence. Vive le différence!

Hectic

2011-06-28T21:38:00.000-04:00

That one word sums up the last several days. I've wanted to blog more but we've been so busy I can barely get from one thing to the next on time.

Here's how today went, to give you an idea. Let me preface it with the fact that Scot's car refused to start on Sunday so we had to have it towed on Monday and it's been in the shop ever since.

6:30 - get up with Jamie. Get dressed and presentable to leave the house.
7:00 - Liam gets up, wake Scot. Spend next 30 min prepping to leave.
7:30 - load up the family and leave. Take Scot to work stopping on the way to get coffee for him.
7:45 - drop off Scot and head to Jamie's daycare.
8:00 - drop off Jamie at daycare and head to the grocery store with Liam.
8:15-9 - grocery shop then go home.
9 - 9:45 - unload the groceries, put them away, sit down to breathe and have breakfast. Get Liam changed for swim lessons.
9:45 - leave for swim.
10 - 11 - swim lesson for Liam.
11:15 arrive home and have a dang break.
11:15 - 4:00 pm. Hang out at home. Get lunch, do cleaning, work on laundry, try to nap to no avail, make cupcakes.
4:00 pm - pick up Jamie.
4:15- 5:30 home long enough to feed the kids and myself. Scot still at work.
5:30 - leave for Tae Kwon-do with both kids. Jamie NEVER goes with us as it runs past his bath and bed time but one car, one parent, no choice. He went with.
5:45 - 6:45 -TKD for Liam. Managed to pick up Scot at work while Liam was in class.
7:00 - arrive home. Scot eats, I throw children in the tub. Jamie is now late for bed.
7:15 - Jamie in bed.
7:40 - Liam in bed.

After the kids were down, I made buttercream frosting and frosted the cupcakes I made. Then I sat down to write an email to a friend that was waiting on my reply. Tomorrow is speech therapy for Jamie and I still have to finish picking up the house.

I know that working parents do this sort of thing pretty much every day so I shouldn't complain. And, really, I'm not. But I'm not used to this kind of schedule AT. ALL. This is what my life has been like for the last several days - hence the lack of blogging.

Swim lessons run all week this week and next. After they are done things calm down a little bit. I'm looking forward to it.

Peek A Boo

2011-06-25T21:36:00.000-04:00

Success

2011-06-22T22:25:00.000-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, I admitted to being a big fat failure. Fat being the operative word because I had failed at Weight Watchers online. So, I bit the bullet and signed back up for meetings.

Last week was my first meeting. I wasn't happy with the number on their scale - weighing at the end of the day is a pain in the ass. But, while I wasn't happy, I wasn't too shocked either so I tried not to let it get me down.

The meeting was exactly what I expected it to be and it was actually really good. Instead of feeling stupid that I'd failed and had to go back, I felt like I was back among my people - the ones that understood my struggles and were there for support. I walked out feeling like I had a plan and I could face the week.

I set some goals for myself: track everything I ate, be meticulous about portion sizes, and make the best choices I could while still leaving a tiny bit of wiggle room. To these ends, I made an effort to read through and organize my materials from Weight Watchers, I purchased a journal for tracking and a notebook to take notes at meetings. I was ready to tackle the week. What can I say? I'm a nerd, office supplies motivate me.

I managed to meet my goals. I tracked everything I put in my mouth and if I didn't want to track it, I usually didn't put it in my mouth. I admit a stray piece of cheese or two might have snuck through but that's about it. On Father's Day, I made steaks, broccoli, salad, roasted potatoes, and my mother-in-law brought brownies and ice cream for dessert. In indulged in all of those foods - being careful to limit portions where appropriate - and I *still* had points left over at the end of the day. I even managed to get a little exercise in here and there over the course of the week.

Tonight I had my second meeting and my first weigh-in after starting the program. I lost six pounds.

Let me repeat that: I lost SIX pounds. In one week.

To give you some perspective, the only other time in my life that I've lost that much weight in a single week, it involved birthing 8 lb babies.

I have now lost 10 pounds over all and weigh the same as what I did when I started Weight Watchers 4 years ago. I put on shorts today that were a smaller size and I didn't just manage to squeeze into them - they actually fit comfortably. Some of my clothes look big on me now (not many, but a few!). Scot told me one day earlier this week, "You look skinny today."

So I know what works and I know how to make the program work for me. Not every week will be this successful but it's a great boost to my confidence.

The Floodgates Have Opened

2011-06-20T14:12:00.000-04:00

Language is suddenly pouring out of Jamie in a torrent. When he said five new words in the space of an hour, I decided to start writing them down so I wouldn't forget them by the time his next therapy session rolled around.

That list took up half the white board on my refrigerator.

Since I started keeping track (on FRIDAY) he has said all of the following:

please
airplane
waffle
blow
bird
one more
Perry (as in, the platypus)
beep (for beeping noses)
book
sit
ting (for clinking glasses together)
oh yeah
bowl
blue bowl
thank you, Mama
hat
Roary (the name of a toy)
Toodles (from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse)
french toast

"French toast" happened just this morning. "What do you want for breakfast, Jamie?" I asked him.

"French toast!" (not clear or distinct but intelligible)

"French toast?" I clarified.

"Uh-huh!"

Easiest. mealtime. interaction. EVER. It hasn't been that easy since he was nursing full time and there was only one choice to begin with.

Our next step is to start working on two and three words phrases to teach him how words can go together. He's starting to pick it up already.

LEGO KidsFest!

2011-06-20T12:17:00.001-04:00

LEGO KidsFest rolled into town over the weekend and took up residence at the "Invention Center," as Liam calls it. When we looked into it, we thought it might not be entirely suitable for Jamie given the session times and Jamie's nap time so we got tickets for Liam and Granddad.

Saturday morning they headed out to the convention center armed with tickets and my old digital camera, ready for a day of fun.

People, handing a digital camera to a 6 year old can have some spotty results. Here is a sampling of the kind of pictures Liam took.

Luckily it got better once they actually got to KidFest. Apparently they had a great time (once they FINALLY got in - lots of crowds, little parking). They built stuff, they took pictures with the Lego statuary, and, of course, Liam wheedled Legos out of Granddad at the gift shop. When they came home Liam said "Mom, they had a gift shop. And it had ONLY LEGOS! Can you believe that?"

He had a great time. Afterward, they went back to Grandma and Granddad's house where Liam promptly put together his Jedi ship on his own without any help at all.

If KidsFest comes back, we'll definitely go back!

Family Fun

2011-06-18T14:27:00.001-04:00

Yesterday morning when we woke up, Scot rolled over and said, "What would you think about me staying home and having a day with you and the boys?"

What did I think? Bring it on!

We decided to take the boys down to the Natural History Museum since it had been some time since we'd visited. We got there just a few minutes before they opened so the boys played on the steps outside while we waited.

Art you can climb on!

Look Ma! I can do the steps all by myself!

After getting inside, we made a beeline for the dinos - a perennial favorite. The kids wandered around and played with the interactive parts of the displays. Jamie did his best T-Rex impression and ran straight to the Triceratops as soon as he caught sight of it. As always, it was a big hit.

"That's my dead dino!" "No, it's MINE!"

We tried to see other parts of the museum, but Jamie was having none of it. He was in a bit of a mood and was doing his best to cause mayhem. I tried to get the obligatory picture of me and the boys by the stuffed bear but Jamie was refusing to cooperate. So, I got one with Spud.

We finally decided that things weren't working out and we needed to leave. We opted to head over to Schenley Plaza to ride the carousel. It was a gorgeous day so it was a great day to be on the plaza.

On our way over, we stopped to see Dippy and take a few pictures.

"Look! I can hold up Dippy!"

Once we got to the plaza, we got tokens for the carousel and hopped on to ride.

Don't ask. I don't know, either.

We came home after that, had some lunch, and put Jamie down for a nap. While he was sleeping, I went outside and set up our castle play tent, our regular camping tent, and the soccer goals so that the kids could play outside. Liam came out about half way through set up and started playing with the neighbors. For most of the afternoon the kids ranged back and forth across our lawn and the neighbor's. When Jamie woke up, he came out to join us. We spent hours out there and the kids had a great time. Eventually, Jamie tired of being outside so I came in with him while Liam stayed out. I got dinner cooking and we all sat down to eat as a family.

It was a great day filled with quality family time. I'll take a dozen more like it.

Summer Fun

2011-06-17T20:03:00.000-04:00

As summer approached this year, I made a promise to myself. I had this little problem and it boiled down to jealousy and guilt. I would read about all the awesome things people did with their kids and I would get jealous and feel guilty. Jealous because I wanted to have all that fun and guilty because I wasn't making the time with my kids to go out and do it.

There were reasons - Jamie was little and we were tied to a nap schedule that was limiting in a lot of ways, wrangling a small toddler and a 5 year old in public by myself was difficult for me, and I was always fretting about the chores that were being neglected at home.

That last one was the biggie. That was the ass kicker. I felt (and many, many days still do feel) like a failure that the house wasn't ALWAYS tidy; the laundry done, folded neatly, and put away; the dishes washed; the meals cooked; the gardens beautiful.

But this year I vowed it would be different. I promised myself that we would have fun, we would go places and see things, and I would just stop worrying so much about the state of the house. I promised to let go and have a little fun. I promised to push my boundaries and comfort zones for the sake of enjoying time with my kids and to accept that in doing so, we might sometimes have a messy house.

So summer is finally here, Liam has been out of school for two weeks, and Jamie is old enough to have just one nap a day in the afternoon. Freedom!

In the two weeks since Liam has been done with school, we have been so insanely busy I feel like I can barely keep up. We seem to be moving at a breakneck pace, as though we have just a couple of weeks to pack in a whole summer's worth of activities. I've let go of a lot of my self-loathing for my lack of perfection when it comes to the house and it has made time with the kids much more enjoyable.

Earlier this week we met good friends of ours at My Little Outback in Squirrel Hill for some play time shenanigans. The kids had a blast and I got to hang out with Jennifer.

As always, Jamie gravitates toward the vacuum.

Liam enjoyed the kiddie habitrail.

Liam and Beatrix, attached at the hip, shoot down the slide together.

After the kids had played themselves out, we grabbed some lunch together. We arrived home just at Jamie's nap time and he was already sacked out in the car. I scooped him up and deposited him in his bed for his nap - a long one thanks to playing hard.

Since then we've done other fun things (more posts coming on that!) and it has proven to be well worth my while to ignore the toys on the floor and the dishes in the sink to spend just a few more hours having fun with my kids.

The Smallest Words Can Mean The Most

2011-06-14T09:19:00.000-04:00

"Ja-mie," the speech therapist said as she tapped Jamie's hand to his chest.

"May-mie!!" he shouted in return, tapping his hand to his chest.

"Good job!" replied the therapist.

"May-mie!" he shouted again.

I sat watching this exchange and I was torn between wanting to melt into a puddle and total astonishment. Jamie has never had any kind of word that he used to identify himself. Of course he knows his name and he responds to it but he wouldn't even attempt saying it. He keeps shocking me with the things he's suddenly willing to try saying. It's like he's finally figuring out how much easier life is when he can communicate with us.

And then there's the melted puddle part. His evident glee at being able to say his own name is both heartwarming and heartbreaking. I'm so glad he can do it and so glad he is so proud of himself for it. In the same breath, there were definite overtones of "Ahhh! Finally!" to his newfound ability, as though he's wanted to do it for a long time and just couldn't. I feel bad that he's been locked away in his own head for all this time.

He's consistently built up his vocabulary since we started therapy but this one word meant so much more than the others.

Jamie Cooks

2011-06-12T09:07:00.000-04:00

One must always wear protective glasses.

Be sure they look adorable.

"Now, get out of my kitchen. Oot, oot, ye wee divils!"

Green Belt In The House!

2011-06-11T18:36:00.000-04:00

Today Liam attended his first all-school belt test at Tae Kwon-Do. Until now he has attended belt tests run on Friday afternoons for the youngest kids in the school at the lowest levels. There's usually only 5 or 6 kids at these tests so this was our first experience with the full school test.

It was different and very fun to watch.

The table prepared for the Masters.

The Masters seated and getting testing underway.

Students lined up to begin.

As you can see there was a range of ages from 5 years old up to adult and a range of belts from white with one stripe to red with two black stripes. I didn't count but there had to be close to 50 students testing today.

When it came time to do patterns, they separated everyone out by belt level and had each level come up and do the pattern en masse.

Getting lined up for pattern.

You'll have to forgive the video quality. I had other kids in the way. I did the best I could.

After all the students had done their patterns and the adult students had demonstrated their sparring combinations (which was cool; they were throwing the masters around the dojang), it was time for sparring with pads.

Spud is the one on the left.

Liam sparred twice, once with a yellow belt and once with a blue belt. They paired the kids up based on height and one of the blue belts is a shorter Korean boy so Liam got paired with him. I expected the kid to make mince meat of Liam because he's three belts ahead of Liam. Liam proved me wrong. I watched him bust out a crescent kick on the blue belt and he landed it, too. Proud Mama.

After all of that, they lined the kids up by belt level and the masters walked through and started asking them questions. I asked Liam what he was asked and he said he has to recite the Tenets of Tae Kwon-Do and count to 10 in Korean. I asked him if he was able to and he responded, "That's way easy, Mom."

Then, Grandmaster Kong gathered them around to give them a talk about how he's there to teach them and give them constructive criticism. How he's not going to pass them just to pass them and that he's like a parent, he's going to tell them right from wrong.

Grandmaster Kong imparts his wisdom.

Finally, they passed out belts, stripes, and certificates and testing was over.

Our new green belt!

It's been almost exactly one year since he started in Tae Kwon-Do. He's come so far since he started and he's doing really, really well. Way to go, kiddo!

One Week

2011-06-11T13:34:00.006-04:00

It has been one hell of a week.

Liam finished kindergarten.
Summer vacation started and we're all trying to adjust to the new schedule.
Scot and I got to have a dinner out. (woohoo!)
Jamie is working on molars something fierce.
I had Hen Night with friends.
Liam tested for his green belt in Tae Kwon-Do. (A separate post on that is coming.)
Liam got grounded for the first time in his life.

Yes, you read that correctly. Liam got grounded.

The sweet, loving little boy I once knew has turned into a cesspit of sass and attitude. He fights me over absolutely everything, from getting dressed to brushing his teeth to what game we're going to play. Nothing is easy. Almost every word that comes out of his mouth is flavored with a large measure of sass. He's rude for the sake of being rude. I feel like a total failure; I feel like I'm raising a brat.

We've tried talking to him. We've tried lecturing him. We've tried cajoling him. We've taken toys away. All of these tactics have worked in the past with him. They don't work anymore. He listens to us, he says "Ok, Mommy and Daddy," and then he turns right around and repeats bad behavior. It is maddening.

One day this week, he was over playing at the neighbor's house. I went over to bring him home because I needed to go pick up Jamie at daycare. Liam gave me the usual 'tude, I told him I didn't care what he wanted, it was time to come home.

And he tried to kick me.

Well, he got hauled home while I berated his behavior the whole way and then he got grounded for a week.

What a trying week it has been. He has continued to be nasty and rude to me when I'm only trying to help him and when I haul him up short on his attitude he turns on the tears for sympathy. I look at him and say "You won't gain my sympathy with your tears. It was YOUR choice to act as you have been and if you don't want to feel what you're feeling right now, don't make those choices again." I'm not proud of this, but I've been wielding guilt and disappointment like a club. It seems to be the only thing that will get through to him.

We're nearing the end of his week of being grounded. He beginning to improve but it is a constant battle with him. I hesitate to say it for fear of jinxing it, but today has been a lot better than the last few. I pray it continues.

I love him so much but I hate the way he's treating us these days. I feel like these boundaries were set years ago and I don't understand why he's testing them again all of the sudden. I'm assured by other parents that this is not unusual for the age, but man alive, it's hard! I feel like every word out of my mouth is correction or criticism and what I really want is to be able to use words of love and praise.

I'm praying for a better week this week.

The Diet: Week 12

2011-06-07T12:02:00.000-04:00

I am in my last week of the online membership to Weight Watchers that I purchased. In my original post three months ago, I said that I would give the online thing a whirl and if it didn't work, I'd go back to meetings. (Or maybe I didn't say that, having just reread the post. Well, it was the intent, anyway.)

I really thought it was going to work out since I started to lose right away. I felt like I could conquer this weight thing. Yes, I can!

But I didn't. I'm 12 weeks in and I've lost 8 lbs. Now, that's 8 more pounds than I was able to lose OFF of Weight Watchers but I really, really hoped to be 15 pounds down by this point.

I'm not. It's pool season, Liam is BEGGING me on a daily basis to go, and the last thing I want to do is appear in public in a swimsuit.*

I'm feeling very much like a failure today. I committed to this and I just didn't follow through. AGAIN. What is wrong with me? Why am I so lame? When I read my first post about this process, I couldn't believe who upbeat and happy I sounded. What the heck happened?

So, today I signed up to go back to meetings. I don't like it and I don't really want to give up that time in my schedule. I especially don't want to do it if I'm just going to be a giant failure again. Yeah, yeah positive attitude and all that but I'm just not feeling very positive. I've failed enough times at this that I'm starting to think I can't succeed.

The battle of the bulge rages on.

--------------------------------------
*Yes, I am aware that community pools are havens for people who just really shouldn't wear THAT in public so my cottage cheese contained in a tank suit isn't a big deal. Except that my community pool ALSO has a bunch of women who are stick thin with big boobs and tiny bikinis. They are a silent rebuke to me. It's very hard for me to overlook all that and pay attention to having fun with my kids because I'm so uncomfortable.

Say Goodbye To Kindergarten

2011-06-06T20:13:00.001-04:00

Today was Liam's last day of school but there was no schooling going on because today was Kindergarten Carnival day.

In our school, on the last day of Kindergarten we hold a carnival. It's organized by the parents and everything we use for it, from game supplies to refreshments, is donated by the parents. It's a chance for the kids to blow off some steam and celebrate the end of a successful year.

And celebrate we did.

All of the kids were given t-shirts with the school name and year on it. We also got one for the teacher and had all the kids sign it before we gave it to her.

There was a short ceremony where the principal and the teacher handed out certificates of completion to the class and then we all headed outside to enjoy carnival day.

We played with a parachute...

And painted faces (or arms in this case).

They played silly relay games with balls between their knees.

We had story time with a snack (a welcome break in the shade)...

And blew bubbles during free play.

There was an obstacle course (Liam's favorite)...

And bobbing for marshmallows.

By that time we were just about worn out so we packed up all of Liam's stuff and headed out. I felt like I'd lived 4 days in the space of 3 hours.

So, summer is officially here. Liam has passed kindergarten and is a first grader come fall. He'll get to ride the bus in the morning AND the afternoon - a fact he's relishing. And that incoming class of kindergarteners? They are tiny. They look like babies to me. I am not a single day older than I was when Liam started kindergarten (shush, you!) but he's so much bigger than he used to be.

Big Boys

2011-06-03T13:31:00.001-04:00

These kids, they just keep growing up.

Liam is currently at his very last day of kindergarten. He has excelled this year and learned so, so much. I'm really proud of him, proud of how hard he's worked, and proud of how much he enjoys learning. Some days I turn around and I can't believe there's this big kid standing in front of me. Who let that happen!? And how can he be so old when I'm still so young?

Clearly, he is a time traveller.

And Jamie? Well, he has suddenly decided that he needs no help climbing into the car and into his car seat and then climbing back out again when we arrive wherever we're going. In fact, he'll screech at you if you don't let him do it himself. Mr. Independent, that one. He carries his own lunch into daycare when he goes and wants to walk in on his own two feet instead of being carried.

I wouldn't be surprised if his next full sentence is "I do it, Mama!"

You're probably thinking that I'm going to wax philosophical about missing my kids as babies. Well, there's no chance of that because I don't miss it. Not one bit. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the baby stage, too, but I'm glad to have left it behind. Babies are great but they sure are confining and I'm tired of being a recluse.

With the kids getting bigger, we suddenly get to do more things with them and enjoy their enjoyment of exploring new things. We're not so tied down by twice-a-day nap schedules and when the baby HAS to eat and needing a suitcase full of stuff just to leave the house for 30 minutes. I'm really looking forward to summer vacation this year and I'm hoping to create some really fantastic memories with my kids.

It's not all sunshine and rainbows, the kids drive me bats, too. But the fact that they're getting older, more independent, less constantly needy of me - that's a wonderful and welcome development. Bring on the big boys!

Fedora II: Toddler Boogaloo

2011-06-01T17:46:00.000-04:00

Sometime this summer, I am determined to get a picture of the boys in these outfits together. Then, I have a WMD in my possession made entirely of cute rays.

There's Nothing Like A Good Fedora

2011-05-31T21:33:00.000-04:00

When I ran across a children's store selling kid sized fedoras I let out a squee. When they were on sale, I bought them for Liam and Jamie. I just couldn't walk away. I don't have any pictures of Jamie in his yet but Liam latched onto his in the space of two heartbeats.

I can't stand it. He's too adorable for words.

Fedora + Spud = AWESOME.

Two Boys And A Hose

2011-05-26T18:40:00.000-04:00

Best toy on the planet.

Your Attention Please

2011-05-25T19:47:00.001-04:00

Remember how I complained about what a pain in the ass it was getting Jamie started in speech therapy? Well, I meant it. It was a total pain in the ass. But all of that aggravation was worth it. We're 4 weeks into therapy now and today Jamie hit a major milestone with his speech.

He said not one, not two, but THREE complete sentences.

"More milk!" (and he signed it while he said it!!!!! Yes, that deserves multiple exclamation points.)

"Hi Mama!"

"There it is!"

I'm stunned.

I'll be the first to admit that if you don't live with Jamie, none of these things were clear or intelligible, with the possible exception of "hi, Mama." But because I live with him and I'm used to his patois of African click tongue, Central American Bush Speak, and Caveman Grunt these things were clear as day to me.

We're also slowly building a vocabulary with him - downstairs, outside, stomp (we were playing in puddles), up, down, uh-huh (as opposed to uh-oh), and probably several more that aren't coming to mind at the moment. The thing that's so huge to me is that he's finally starting to string things together to make sentences. It seemed so far outside of his reach when it came to language. I thought it would take far longer for him to make that leap.

It also makes up for the fact that he spent the whole weekend shrieking and refused to use any language at all (but only a little bit because that sucked).

It feels weird to say that I'm proud of my kid for talking but it's true. I'm proud of the little bugger. Keep it up, kiddo.

Happiness Is

2011-05-25T14:44:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Liam came home with a gem in his backpack.

"Happiness is visitin my Papa."

He's talking about my Dad. Now, it's really "Puppa" but he doesn't know how to spell it so close enough, ya know?

Also - no clue who the people are supposed to be but my guess is Liam and Puppa.

In The Words of Inspector Gadget, "Wowsers"

2011-05-23T15:18:00.000-04:00

Saturday evening, I tweeted the following:

Sunday evening brought this gem:

I don't even know how to describe what we've gone through with Jamie this past weekend. He has displayed behavior the likes of which I have never witnessed in any child with which I've come into contact. This is not my first rodeo when it comes to the Terrible Twos and this weekend was so awful that if I start to seriously contemplate how bad age three is going to be, I might get PTSD - Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Jamie spent the weekend screaming. When he wasn't screaming, he was squealing. When he wasn't squealing, he was sobbing. When he wasn't sobbing he was whining. When he wasn't doing any of those things he was asleep - which was hard won to begin with.

He refused to communicate with us at all. If we didn't have ESP, we might as well bend over and grab our ankles. Seeing as we don't have the ability to read minds, we were staring at our ankles a lot. We couldn't figure out what he wanted to do, what he wanted to eat, where he wanted to go - nothing. We tried taking the kids out a couple of times and we had to run for the hills both times because Jamie was having epic public meltdowns.

Poor Liam got the short end of the parental stick all weekend long. Scot and I were so frazzled at trying to survive what was happening with Jamie that Liam just had to sort of fit himself into the cracks. This is one of the many reasons I felt like a failure as a parent. Not only couldn't I find a way to calm Jamie down and help him through whatever was upsetting him, I had to ignore Liam in the process.

I have theories about Jamie's issues: teething, a cold, new neurologic patterns as speech slowly emerges, and hunger (due to his mouth hurting from teething and not eating as a result). When I finally figured out that last item, I made him some easy to eat Kraft Mac n Cheese and the kid stuffed at least a half a pot of the stuff down his gaping maw.

I hope this weekend was just some kind of perfect storm because I don't know if I can do that again and again and again for weeks or months. So far, today has been better. He's been in a better mood and he's taking a l-o-n-g nap. Here's hoping...